I am a ctrauma survivor. I say survivor and have, after therapy, no problem saying I SURVIVED. My trauma was REAL and my recovery is IMPORTANT. I am not minimising my trauma.
Now, I live in a house share. One of the people is an older man who I recently found out had CSA and has depression. I don't know if it is down to his trauma but I'm finding him very very difficult to live with (I'm also getting to terms with my own trauma so it is extra tough)
He is very unpredictable is my main complaint. He will be very angry some days, very angry. Two days ago I was eating my breakfast and he came in and threw a tantrum about the kitchen being messy (it wasnt even that messy or my mess) and made me clean it up - while my porridge was hot! Even after my protest that it would go cold.
A day later, he is very apologetic and blames himself and says it won't happen again. (This has hapoened many times before)
Today I was working in the dining room and he came in and quite assertively told me he was having his breakfast in there. I moved to the kitchen. He came in and says "You don't like me that much, do you?" I didn't know how to answer it (truth is, I don't like him that much). When he asked again I said "I like you fine, but I keep a bit of distance because I find you can be a bit unpredictable". He asked me what I meant "Well sometimes you come down and you're very angry, other times very friendly - but I never know what to expect so I stay out of your way". That was the nicest way I could put it.
Anyways, he went mental. Shouting and swearing etc and blaming me for everything wrong in the house. Pointing at a few crumbs on the table (not even mine) and giving out how messy the kitchen was. I stayed calm but eventually said that if he wanted to bring something up to say it to the landlord and she can say it to me, since we are on equal status as tenants. He leaves the kitchen with a taunting laugh "Ohh you bet I will! You bet I f*cking will".
My landlord came to apologise 10 minutes later and says he was in a bad mood and maybe to stay away from him.
Not even, 30 minutes later, he comes in, extremely apologetic. Again, blaming himself and how he gets overwhelmed. And...how it won't happen again. I say to in the future to just bring it up with the landlord. He says he won't let things get to him, he won't let problems get so big. I say that is easy to say and hard to do, bring it up with landlord next time. And again, he says: how it won't happen again, says he won't let things get to him, he won't let problems get so big.
I am really at odds as to what to do. I sympathise a little since I have dealt with trauma, but you know what? I dealt with it! After rent, therapy is my biggest expense! I never took it out on another person.
Now, I live in a house share. One of the people is an older man who I recently found out had CSA and has depression. I don't know if it is down to his trauma but I'm finding him very very difficult to live with (I'm also getting to terms with my own trauma so it is extra tough)
He is very unpredictable is my main complaint. He will be very angry some days, very angry. Two days ago I was eating my breakfast and he came in and threw a tantrum about the kitchen being messy (it wasnt even that messy or my mess) and made me clean it up - while my porridge was hot! Even after my protest that it would go cold.
A day later, he is very apologetic and blames himself and says it won't happen again. (This has hapoened many times before)
Today I was working in the dining room and he came in and quite assertively told me he was having his breakfast in there. I moved to the kitchen. He came in and says "You don't like me that much, do you?" I didn't know how to answer it (truth is, I don't like him that much). When he asked again I said "I like you fine, but I keep a bit of distance because I find you can be a bit unpredictable". He asked me what I meant "Well sometimes you come down and you're very angry, other times very friendly - but I never know what to expect so I stay out of your way". That was the nicest way I could put it.
Anyways, he went mental. Shouting and swearing etc and blaming me for everything wrong in the house. Pointing at a few crumbs on the table (not even mine) and giving out how messy the kitchen was. I stayed calm but eventually said that if he wanted to bring something up to say it to the landlord and she can say it to me, since we are on equal status as tenants. He leaves the kitchen with a taunting laugh "Ohh you bet I will! You bet I f*cking will".
My landlord came to apologise 10 minutes later and says he was in a bad mood and maybe to stay away from him.
Not even, 30 minutes later, he comes in, extremely apologetic. Again, blaming himself and how he gets overwhelmed. And...how it won't happen again. I say to in the future to just bring it up with the landlord. He says he won't let things get to him, he won't let problems get so big. I say that is easy to say and hard to do, bring it up with landlord next time. And again, he says: how it won't happen again, says he won't let things get to him, he won't let problems get so big.
I am really at odds as to what to do. I sympathise a little since I have dealt with trauma, but you know what? I dealt with it! After rent, therapy is my biggest expense! I never took it out on another person.
