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@Ragdoll Circus said can he accept you warts and all?
An excellent question and one you need to ask yourself as well. Can you accept him warts and all?
Relationships are hard as hell. Toss PTSD into the mix and it's so friggin hard, you wonder at times if it's worth it.
I personally think it's more difficult when the woman has PTSD and the man is the supporter.
Excuse me guys but most men think with their dicks. When some men don't get their nookie they feel like they are being f*cking abused. They take that shit real personal when it's all wrapped up with their ego and self esteem.
When a woman has been sexually and physically abused and her husband / partner is putting the pressure on, it's triggering as shit.
And it doesn't take much. As women we know we haven't been feeling like being intimate. It could be the medication, depression a whole list of reasons. The dick talks poor me in a thousand ways. A look, a sigh, a touch, scrunching closer in bed and pulling you closer and sometimes you just want to say "Get The f*ck Away From Me!" But you can't not only because you going want to hurt their fragile dicks ego but because you've been taught you have no right to say what happens with your body., So you move closer and closer to the edge of the bed, or you toss and turn, or you try to f*cking fake it. That's a tough one for PTSDers because we trained ourselves to zone out.
Sometimes the real bitch of it is the more you love a man the less you trust them and they turn you off sexually. Can't get the horny hormones going if you don't trust. If you've been betrayed by the one who was supposed to protect you, it really f*cks with your head as an adult sexual woman.
People are fail able. Some Men don't know how to talk about feelings, they don't know how to be vulnerable they just know if they can make a living and zippidy their doo-dah they are real men.
Six months is a long time especially if you have not been going to couples therapy during that time or talking about it at all.
I think you guys need to go to couples therapy and really talk about what's going on.
I would also make sure he got tested for any STDs before he touched you again. What people say they did and what actually went down can be two very different things. Get yourself tested too. These are things that need to be brought up with a couples therapist though. Those kinds of conversations need a referee and translator.
You can move past this and be a stronger couple for it if you're both willing to commit to the work. Even couples where one doesn't have PTSD go through this.
Just take some time to think where all that anger and betrayed feeling is coming from. Yes he did some stupid assed thoughtless shit. But is all that anger only because of him?
Sometimes marriage counseling helps the couple get back together and sometimes they help a couple split and assist in damage control. Either way, it's what IMHO you both need. My love to you lady.
An excellent question and one you need to ask yourself as well. Can you accept him warts and all?
Relationships are hard as hell. Toss PTSD into the mix and it's so friggin hard, you wonder at times if it's worth it.
I personally think it's more difficult when the woman has PTSD and the man is the supporter.
Excuse me guys but most men think with their dicks. When some men don't get their nookie they feel like they are being f*cking abused. They take that shit real personal when it's all wrapped up with their ego and self esteem.
When a woman has been sexually and physically abused and her husband / partner is putting the pressure on, it's triggering as shit.
And it doesn't take much. As women we know we haven't been feeling like being intimate. It could be the medication, depression a whole list of reasons. The dick talks poor me in a thousand ways. A look, a sigh, a touch, scrunching closer in bed and pulling you closer and sometimes you just want to say "Get The f*ck Away From Me!" But you can't not only because you going want to hurt their fragile dicks ego but because you've been taught you have no right to say what happens with your body., So you move closer and closer to the edge of the bed, or you toss and turn, or you try to f*cking fake it. That's a tough one for PTSDers because we trained ourselves to zone out.
Sometimes the real bitch of it is the more you love a man the less you trust them and they turn you off sexually. Can't get the horny hormones going if you don't trust. If you've been betrayed by the one who was supposed to protect you, it really f*cks with your head as an adult sexual woman.
People are fail able. Some Men don't know how to talk about feelings, they don't know how to be vulnerable they just know if they can make a living and zippidy their doo-dah they are real men.
Six months is a long time especially if you have not been going to couples therapy during that time or talking about it at all.
I think you guys need to go to couples therapy and really talk about what's going on.
I would also make sure he got tested for any STDs before he touched you again. What people say they did and what actually went down can be two very different things. Get yourself tested too. These are things that need to be brought up with a couples therapist though. Those kinds of conversations need a referee and translator.
You can move past this and be a stronger couple for it if you're both willing to commit to the work. Even couples where one doesn't have PTSD go through this.
Just take some time to think where all that anger and betrayed feeling is coming from. Yes he did some stupid assed thoughtless shit. But is all that anger only because of him?
Sometimes marriage counseling helps the couple get back together and sometimes they help a couple split and assist in damage control. Either way, it's what IMHO you both need. My love to you lady.
