My Husband Just Told Me He's Leaving Me

[ladee]

Well of course it is going to get ugly.. how else will he show he has any balls... like the way he is going about this shows he has balls... phfffftttt !!! But you do what you need to do... you will hear us say over and over to take care of yourself... but some good healthy anger is good... sometimes it can be the motivator to move us along... he has no idea the support you have behind you... just hope he keeps your kids out of this .... that is just plain cruel... no excuse for this... none. sending lots of hugs..

 

[ladee]

Oh Mal.... what an awesome woman you are... just no words for how you handled that... you are a much finer woman than I will ever be...

 

[Deleted member 33052]

My therapist squeezed me in today. He's the one who told me to be as neutral as I'm capable of being, so that my (evil) husband will be stuck with all of the ugliness that he has handed me. I've come far enough in my recovery, that I might actually be able to pull this off.

I wish he knew how much support I have. He's used to me fighting every battle alone. :) . And he's not evil. I just feel like slagging him a bit.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I'm actually being so cool about this! When he got home from work earlier, I told him I was sorry that he felt like this was his only option. I pretended not to notice his eyes widen. I think it upsets him that I'm not flipping out.

I think I need a score sheet. :)

 

[Chimera]

Chuckles...aye on the score sheet.
Keepa ya kool, sista!

 

[Deleted member 33052]

That is wrong on so many levels. Did he or your son tell you about their conversation? Sne...

Alice, my son seemed kind of subdued, so I asked my husband privately if he had told him, and he admitted that he did. I practically had to bite my tongue not to scream at him.

I'm messed up. One moment he's an asshole in my mind, and the next, he's just a sad, hurt child. I wish I could make up my mind. :p

 

[Deleted member 33052]

:arghh; I can't shut up!

 

[Chimera]

And you don't have to either.
This is big, and you are working it out and in and back and forth.
It's why we're all here..
Keep talking, I say..

 

[anthony]

I'm sorry to hear this... I hope things go well for you in the near future to get through this. Break ups are never nice... someone always gets hurt, if not both are hurting.

 

[Sammyiam]

I'm sorry for what you are going through. You will have huge mood swings from wanting to scream at him to feeling sorry for him. Like your therapist said the more you can make it neutral and just get through things the better.

From my own past sexual abuse I have always tried to get through with this thought ;
It takes far more energy to be angry than not, and I need that energy for other things.
It's something I made up when I'm not doing so well
I have never been through what your going through but I just wanted to tell you this little saying I say in my head.

Please take care of yourself

Sammy

 

[Ava Jarvis]

So a friend of mine on Tumblr and I have this volcano. It's active, fiery, and has lightning striking it from time to time.

I am totally willing to loan you the volcano in case you want to pretend-drop any people in it who might deserve it.

Also there's a philosophy I now have about "anonymous hate" (assholes like to send anonymous messages to people on Tumblr to see if said person will react to it and get hurt).

Do not respond to the hate. Do not reply to the message on your blog or privately. Delete it. And even if it makes your blood boil, do not show that in any way on your blog. Talk about the happy things in your life. Post cute pictures of your pets. Drives the assholes up the wall. I've seen some get so riled up on Tumblr that they accidentally forget to set themselves to anonymous to send their next bit of hate. I even once saw one beg the recipient of their hate to not expose them after their snafu. (Obiviously no prisoners were taken and no mercy was given.)

You are doing a good job of applying this policy IRL to him. Good for you.

Post pictures of your pets getting scritchies. But IRL.

 

[Zanshin]

Congrats on being so level-headed through this - at least to him. ;) We're here to vent to, brag to when you're doing well, and have moments with when you're not doing well. Do what you need to so you're taken care of as well as your son, and be safe.