My husband says that i'm selfish

[blackemerald1]

Yep it is @Zoogal no way around it but when the dust settles please try & get the rules of engagement agreed upon. Because couples do disagree & having those boundaries there can avoid nasty and regretted words. Words do hurt.

 

[Mee]

Your daughter isn’t just someone else. Like a friend. She is your child: she has been given a difficult emotional burden.

Everything you are saying he is saying about you or bemoaning in your self I feel is also present in him fro. What is written here ( and that's all there is to go on) .

Zoogal, I have not seen you be bitchy in my time here. If you have trigger issues that make sleeping not in a bed important so be it. If he is at a group that triggers that it's important for him.to go to its obviously going to be difficult. That beds and that group potentially relate is no small thing. I think it sounds like you are going astoundingly well.

I Value your posts zoogal. I have received help from reading them.

 

[Gs172003]

Your daughter isn’t just someone else. Like a friend. She is your child: she has been given a difficul...

Thank you so much.

 

[Supervixn]

Yeah it's hard. Relationships make it so much harder. We have faith in you! Lean on us for support, we are all here for you and we understand! You're not alone.

 

[Gs172003]

Yeah it's hard. Relationships make it so much harder. We have faith in you! Lean on us for support,...

Thank you

 

[DharmaGirl]

I like you too! I think you are smart and insightful.

 

[Supervixn]

I like you too! I think you are smart and insightful.

She totally is!!

 

[Gs172003]

I like you too! I think you are smart and insightful.

Thank you

 

[Gs172003]

She totally is!!

Thank you

 

[Mee]

I have been thinking about this. I don’T know if it’s applicable to you Zoogal but I am going to throw it out here to see if it resonates.

My T is encouraging me to be more ‘selfish’. That with an empathetic outlook it has not seen me protect myself adequately or prioritise my Own emotional needs.

It seems to me that in considering your husband’s suggestions you might be being openminded and not selfish.

 

[Gs172003]

I have been thinking about this. I don’T know if it’s applicable to you Zoogal but I am going to thro...

Thank you

 

[EveHarrington]

I think....

That many of our needs are other peoples wants.

And even if it’s their need VS our need, many times our need wins

Your husband has a need for physical affection, sleeping next to you

You have a need to sleep

Your need trumps his need. No sleep can send you into psychosis within a few days, right? Eventually you’d die.

Lack of physical affection may make life suck, but it’s not going to kill you. At least not anytime soon.

So is that really you being selfish?

Like

“OMG I’m soooo selfish! I just need to sleep!” *sarcasm*