My internal Batman needs to CHILL

[Justmehere]

I care a lot about justice. Not revenge. I personally believe justice and mercy are intertwined. Being merciful sometimes means seeking justice and sometimes the just thing to do is embrace mercy.

This isn't all bad to seek justice. I've been able to take action in my life that has helped others become safer. I've also put myself in harms way. It’s good and bad at the same time.

In general life, when I feel like I have agency and people are involved, I can be very patient - when I apply myself. I do not have a high frustration tolerance in other settings. (Ex: Lost keys can spike feeling angry. BAH. Not helpful. Some of this is ADHD related... both the losing of the keys and being quite so frustrated about it. It's easily keep this under control with meds but I'm trying to do better without meds.)

The main hiccup: I also don't have a lot of tolerance for people in authority who are harmful. My internal batman sometimes wants to be the warrior against them. WAYYYY too much. My abusers were authority figures, people in a position of trust, so it's very trauma based. Just like it was for Batman...


Thing is, I can be good at advocating for change, if I can get my internal Batman to be patient. Chill. And when I pick the right battles to fight.

But the world doesn't need my internal Batman fighting every damn battle with most authority figures who are asses. Some battles I need to let go. For my own sake. I let go of many, but a few feel really sticky. Even more so, in the battles I fight, like one I am in with my insurance right now, I need to be chill. Patient. Not frustrated like I am when I lose my keys.

Wondering what helps others walk away from an injustice? Or be patient while working for a solution to an injustice?

Thoughts?

 

[The Albatross]

Took a road trip last week and heard on the radio about the connection to anger and distress coming from 4 aspects. Injustice was one of the four. They are: Hurt, fear, injustice and frustration. Rang true for me. One of the things I would like to read up on when the library opens back up.

Low frustration tolerance is another issue altogether lots of good material on that online.

My old nickname was Under Dog... and here's the thing. Justice is not necessarily mine to dispense.

 

[Changing4Best]

I will sometimes get an opinion from one or two people who are knowledgeable in that area who I trust. Their ideas can help me to know when to chill and when to stand up for justice.

 

[siniang]

Following, not because I have a solution, but because struggling with the same thing.

Leaving a :hug: in solidarity.

 

[Ronin]

Lots of thoughts... Obviously.

Some times, justice is long term.
Wait a few decades and oh, okay, responsible parties are still evading court orders and publicly laugh at whole nations' faces...

... Fine. Maybe needs some longer wait. While people precise up how to deal with them, and try everything they can to help lives they wrecked, meantime.

And?

Peace is a weapon.
It can do a lot of damages war can only dream of.

Personal lair?
I'm not walking away from injustice...
I can do more damage to it by helping who I can than if I went and did all the shit my life was so full of.

Pens mightier than swords, and all of that.

Tl;Dr: It's not inertia. It's fight still... Fought better. As if it looks like nothing and diplomacy? That's both well camo'd -and- smoothly executed fight. ;)

Switching forms isn't giving up.
Taking pause, like a few years off, isn't giving up.
Being done caring for good is giving up.

And if my decision, not entirely finis, either. As I have the agency and chose it. I wasn't made to it... I just chose to disengage.

 

[Survivor3]

Hi @Justmehere, I like your internal Batman. Like you stated, it's about picking your fights/battles. And knowing the right amount of pressure to use at the correct time. If I acted out on some of my battles then I would end up in prison. That would cause me damage so it's not worth it. The UNIVERSE can fight back without your help sometimes. Karma is real. I know for a fact that some of my abusers are suffering without me even lifting a finger. And it makes me happy that they're suffering.


Best wishes S3.

 

[Teasel]

How about Acceptance and commitment therapy? Helps you clarify what your values are and helps you train yourself to be in charge of your reactions to such situations. I find the dropping anchor exercise seriously helpful in getting me out of being stuck in the maelstrom of emotions n thoughts, take a step back and calmly decide what I want to do.