I'm a 28 year old male. I guess I've had ptsd for about 16 years and suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. I was only recently diagnosed with ptsd. My dad wasn't always around when I was a kid. Sometimes he wasn't bad but most of the time he would deprive me of sleep, beat me, and strangle me. All the while telling me I was worthless. When I was 11 he put a gun to my head and held me hostage. The vision of that barrel has haunted me sense. Cops always told me it wasn't abuse and the courts were little help. I'm married to an amazing woman that somehow manages to deal with me and the many issues that I have. I really want to get better and my therapist suggested I join a forum and I found this site. I really appreciate the warm welcomes I have received and this site oddly feels safe.