My introduction
A couple of you guys referred me over here, so I'm just going to copy/paste my intro (and add a few things) from the other board I was on.
22 year old combat medic, deployed to Afghanistan from March 2008 to March 2009, came back to my fiancee wanting me to talk about what happened over there, I wasn't ready, we split, she married a dude she had been seeing the entire time I was gone.
Was a very healthy person before deployment, came back dipping, smoking, and drinking like nobodies business. Have bad passive anger issues that will occasionally overwhelm me, I've only snapped once, and I was sent to a drinking program for my anger, which didn't make much sense. While there, I met a therapist who diagnosed me with PTSD (Apparently the other 3 shrinks they ordered me to see didn't catch the vibe) with anxiety disorder, as well as alcohol dependency.
Long story short, I don't drink any more, I smoke about 3 cigarettes a day, down from a pack. I was blowing 100-400 a weekend at the bars but I don't do that any more, maybe 1 beer a week. I still have unbelievable amounts of anger and hatred inside that just brews.
(Second Post)
Long story short, lost a good friend on Christmas, that holiday is ruined. 3 days later a suicide bomber hit our outpost, killed about 30 kids, all of which were scattered about 700m in every direction, body parts in trees, entangled in c-wire, blood and just human goo everywhere. A whole group of kids was walking t school past the front of our COP when he hit, they were about 5 feet away from the vehicle. No Americans died, but the kids are just innocent. It took me a lot just to be able not to have a panic attack talking about that. The other big incident was a few weeks before we were supposed to leave, a guy rammed his vehicle (explosive ridden, of course) into the lead truck of our convoy (we were about 5 minutes behind) and killed 2 guys in it, one of which was a very close friend. We worked on them for about 15 minutes while the helicopters just circled overhead, refusing to land because it was a "hot zone". Almost killed a flight crew member who was dragging the remains of my buddy through the mud because he didn't want to get dirty.
Stupid things irritate me. People blowing me off, getting cut off, people driving immediately next to me, turning left into my direction of travel and going into the median. I tense up, white knuckled, it's very visible. My current girlfriend has noticed it, constantly looking over my shoulder. I used to not really care, but I get so pissed off when people don't say please or thank you, just the simple things that don't really require much. The frivolous things people get upset over. Starbucks coffee, getting the stuffed crab legs because they were all out of grilled salmon. I can't stand normal people.
My current girlfriend is actually the coolest I've had when it comes to this. She knows I have issues, and said "I won't press you to tell me about it, if you want to tell me when you are ready, I'm all ears. If you don't ever want to tell me, that is totally fine and I understand." compared to the ex who wanted to know everything about it.
I've been up for about 26 hours now, so I'm probably getting off topic.
A couple of you guys referred me over here, so I'm just going to copy/paste my intro (and add a few things) from the other board I was on.
22 year old combat medic, deployed to Afghanistan from March 2008 to March 2009, came back to my fiancee wanting me to talk about what happened over there, I wasn't ready, we split, she married a dude she had been seeing the entire time I was gone.
Was a very healthy person before deployment, came back dipping, smoking, and drinking like nobodies business. Have bad passive anger issues that will occasionally overwhelm me, I've only snapped once, and I was sent to a drinking program for my anger, which didn't make much sense. While there, I met a therapist who diagnosed me with PTSD (Apparently the other 3 shrinks they ordered me to see didn't catch the vibe) with anxiety disorder, as well as alcohol dependency.
Long story short, I don't drink any more, I smoke about 3 cigarettes a day, down from a pack. I was blowing 100-400 a weekend at the bars but I don't do that any more, maybe 1 beer a week. I still have unbelievable amounts of anger and hatred inside that just brews.
(Second Post)
Long story short, lost a good friend on Christmas, that holiday is ruined. 3 days later a suicide bomber hit our outpost, killed about 30 kids, all of which were scattered about 700m in every direction, body parts in trees, entangled in c-wire, blood and just human goo everywhere. A whole group of kids was walking t school past the front of our COP when he hit, they were about 5 feet away from the vehicle. No Americans died, but the kids are just innocent. It took me a lot just to be able not to have a panic attack talking about that. The other big incident was a few weeks before we were supposed to leave, a guy rammed his vehicle (explosive ridden, of course) into the lead truck of our convoy (we were about 5 minutes behind) and killed 2 guys in it, one of which was a very close friend. We worked on them for about 15 minutes while the helicopters just circled overhead, refusing to land because it was a "hot zone". Almost killed a flight crew member who was dragging the remains of my buddy through the mud because he didn't want to get dirty.
Stupid things irritate me. People blowing me off, getting cut off, people driving immediately next to me, turning left into my direction of travel and going into the median. I tense up, white knuckled, it's very visible. My current girlfriend has noticed it, constantly looking over my shoulder. I used to not really care, but I get so pissed off when people don't say please or thank you, just the simple things that don't really require much. The frivolous things people get upset over. Starbucks coffee, getting the stuffed crab legs because they were all out of grilled salmon. I can't stand normal people.
My current girlfriend is actually the coolest I've had when it comes to this. She knows I have issues, and said "I won't press you to tell me about it, if you want to tell me when you are ready, I'm all ears. If you don't ever want to tell me, that is totally fine and I understand." compared to the ex who wanted to know everything about it.
I've been up for about 26 hours now, so I'm probably getting off topic.
