My partner has Borderline personality disorder, I have Cptsd - any tips for dealing with this combo?

[silverlinings1069]

We are forever in a catch 22 - I need space, he hates space (abandonment issues). When I get triggered, I trigger him. I don't want to trigger him anymore but I need my space. Forever caught in this endless cycle....?

 

[Friday]

That might mean irreconcilable differences… or it might mean figuring out where the compromise (not sacrifice, sacrificing is never sustainable long term) lies.

How long have you two been together?

 

[silverlinings1069]

1 year

 

[Movingforward10]

1 year

I think 1 year in you're both still getting to know each other. At least, that's my experience. I think it takes a couple of years to fully know people. And saying that, been with my partner 19 years and we're still learning about each other!

I think there is a complicated mix of: not being responsible for triggering someone else (our triggers are ours to manage) but also caring for someone and not wanting to upset them.
I'm not in that combo you have, so don't know any tips other than:
Communication is key. As is personal responsibility.

 

[EveHarrington]

I need LOTS of space, too. My ex wasn’t the best, but at least he would give me space when I needed it. I don’t think I could function with someone who had lots of demands on my time. I’ve always thought that I want a partner who has their own life and interests, and is fine doing things in life separate from me (and vice versa). His needs are in direct opposition to yours, so it may be an unworkable situation.