My Pet Peeves About Treatment - Or "they Just Don't Get It"

[Uhuf]

Most of us have been through various types of treatment for PTSD, from one-on-one psychiatrist or psychologist visits to group therapy sessions, etc. A lot of what they offer just doesn't seem to make any sense; nor do they work. It's as if they have no clue as to what makes up the nature of the beast. I'll give a couple of examples, then ask if anyone else knows of any:

I've had therapists get angry at me when they have me lying on the floor in an attempt to teach me relaxation techniques. Sometimes they use idiotic music with ocean waves slapping on a shore, or frogs chirping in the background. When I tell them that it's not working, they raise their voice and tell me that I'm not trying hard enough. They actually sound pissed off!

The thing they don't get is that staying alert and vigilant (anxious) is exactly what my body is programmed to do. It will not allow me relax. The more someone tries to put me in a relaxed state, the more tense it becomes - the more it fights back. DUH! They make it seem like I'm resisting on purpose. It's the nature of my PTSD to resist relaxation, to constantly be on my guard and always stay alert. They just don't get it!

Another pet peeve: Overall, the medical community tends to think of PTSD as one common ailment. They approach it as if every person's PTSD can be treated in much the same way. Just throw us into group therapy for anxiety or anger management. What they don't seem to understand is that each one of us was raised by a different family, with a different upbringing, and in different cultural environments. Therefore, none of us will react to the same trauma in exactly the same way. Now, when you consider that not only is the way we all react to a particular trauma going to be different, but that no two traumas are exactly alike either, then it isn't that hard to figure out that a cookie-cutter approach just won't work. Each of our PTSDs is unique; like a fingerprint, that requires very specific and customized treatment. They just don't get it!

Does anyone else have any pet peeves?

 

[Ogus]

First of all, every thing you've said applies to what most of us have experience. However, don't give up on therapy. Let me give you some examples of why.

The first time I was exposed to any sort of outside help my reaction was this. "Give me a cold beer and rare stake, and I'll take care of the rest myself". At that time in my life there was no way that I could benefit from what the professionals had to offer. The time wasn't right.

Much later I realized that I simply couldn't deal with anything as complex as post traumatic stress on my own. But, my first therapist had neither the experience nor compassion to provide the help I needed.

It took several tries and considerable research on my own to finally find a program that was ready for me at the same time I was ready for help. Try to keep this in mind. The best therapists are simply coaches. They only show you the path. You have to make your way down it. And my Brother or Sister, it is one very tough road. You must be committed to the journey, and make it your number one priority.

SD

 

[Foteje]

Most of us have been through various types of treatment for PTSD, from one-on-one psychiatrist or psychologist visits to group therapy sessions, etc. A lot of what they offer just doesn't seem to make any sense; nor do they work. It's as if they have no clue as to what makes up the nature of the beast. I'll give a couple of examples, then ask if anyone else knows of any:

I've had therapists get angry at me when they have me lying on the floor in an attempt to teach me relaxation techniques. Sometimes they use idiotic music with ocean waves slapping on a shore, or frogs chirping in the background. When I tell them that it's not working, they raise their voice and tell me that I'm not trying hard enough. They actually sound pissed off!

The thing they don't get is that staying alert and vigilant (anxious) is exactly what my body is programmed to do. It will not allow me relax. The more someone tries to put me in a relaxed state, the more tense it becomes - the more it fights back. DUH! They make it seem like I'm resisting on purpose. It's the nature of my PTSD to resist relaxation, to constantly be on my guard and always stay alert. They just don't get it!

Another pet peeve: Overall, the medical community tends to think of PTSD as one common ailment. They approach it as if every person's PTSD can be treated in much the same way. Just throw us into group therapy for anxiety or anger management. What they don't seem to understand is that each one of us was raised by a different family, with a different upbringing, and in different cultural environments. Therefore, none of us will react to the same trauma in exactly the same way. Now, when you consider that not only is the way we all react to a particular trauma going to be different, but that no two traumas are exactly alike either, then it isn't that hard to figure out that a cookie-cutter approach just won't work. Each of our PTSDs is unique; like a fingerprint, that requires very specific and customized treatment. They just don't get it!

Does anyone else have any pet peeves?

Well I have never had therapists try anything like that. I agree with what you have said. I did have a young gal therapists say something to me that just pissed me off. I stood up and told her: you have no f*cking idea what I am capable of. I think she was new to the job and did not know shit. I have been dealing with the Beast for 40+ years and did not know I had it. Well this passed 3+ years I have been learning about it and how to deal it.

Years ago I did a lot of deep woods backpacking. Anyway I like music, so I go buy the newest Walkman......So I thought I would give it a try and walk around the block. Hell I did not get even a 1/2 block from my house. I found out that I could not hear my surounding. I started to get anxious, I took off the damn Walkman, things started to go back to my normal. (I gave the thing away) It was the f*ckig hypervigilance, that I did not know I had. I sitll have it, however a tad less.

My reason for sharing this with you is that I found something that worked for me, as a starting point in dealing with the Beast. Maybe it will help you or others. It's just one word and this word we have used in combat. The word is Acceptance!!! You said above, "It's the nature of my PTSD to resist relaxation, to constantly be on my guard and always stay alert." Sounds like you have Accepted this as a fact that you are dealing with the f*cking hypervigilance; it's a bitch to deal with, I know. So I Accepted I had it bad, now what do I do? I asked questions, I learned all I could about it, I talked with my therapists and other Nam vets. What I found out was not all that f*cking good! How long will I have this shit? The rest of your life. Can I ever turn it off? No, you just have to deal with it. Keep telling your self that you are no longer in combat, that you no longer need it. Great, that helps a f*cking lot!!! I don't seem to be in controle of it, it controles me!!!

I kept thinking about it for a few months and I keep dealing with the shit and I am getting so tired. So one day I just figured I was screwed, my training was just to damn good and add to that what I learned in Nam on top of that.

Then I remember what I had been told, "you are no longer in combat, that you no longer need it" Well this true, I have not been in combat in 40+ years. I have this because of my training and the combat! I wonder if I can retrain myself and turn some of it off or down. If they put it in, maybe I can take some out? The answer for me was yes, but it's hard work and the anxiety will try to kick your ass in the doing.

Here is what I did. I made a list of 3-4 small things that if I do them, it sets off my hypervigilance. One was not setting with my back to a wall in a restaurant......another is using an mp3 player my daughter gave me.

My out come, I can now sit with my back out in the open, in a restaurant, anywere. I can now use the mp3 player, but only at home with the wife in the house. (she has my back) This has taken me 2 years, but I have made some progress.
I have 2 more small things I am working on. But I will be 63 this coming March, so I am just going to accept I am what I am and try to live my life as best I can, with the Beast......

J R

 

[Ipuw]

Learning a technique to help you relax can be an important thing to do that will help with your PTSD. But trying to 'force' someone to relax is well just stupid. It's like trying to fall asleep because you need to, you know what I mean. I too have suffered for a long time prior to getting help. It can be very frustrating when you're in the midst of it all and the docs just don't seem to be helping in the way you need.

Don't give it up though, you have to continue your search till you find the doctors and places that will help you to get better. You have to have the hope that you can improve your situation and get better. No cure, but better than now.

And something as simple as taking a walk everyday can be a help in reducing your stress and relaxing. It may be difficult at first, hypervigilence, anxiety, ect, but give it a try. It's the easiest way to get started with something to help you relax. Best of luck and stay the course.

Jar