My Relationship Is Failing Due To My Ptsd

[Abstract]

I hope you are doing OK. You are brave to speak.

I wanted to add that I'm not asexual. And that Simply Simon is of course right. Avoidance does't ever make us better long term. What helped me feel less threatened and made this more doable is framing this as processing trauma. I'm not willing to frame it in terms of my relationship or go to related places but I am willing and able to circle and approach aspects of it in terms of trauma. I'm still trying to figure out how to do more trauma processing without falling off my precarious perch. And unfortunately for me that always means therapy becoming more impossible for me when I most need it. Its a tricky one.

 

[mamachick]

I just read the last thing I posted and realized the last part to be very confusing. What I meant by ok today but not tomorrow is that when I have tried to be intimate and am not in the right place, I only confused my partner by participating one time, but not another. Even though I explained it, or tried, it only made him more frustrated and me feel like I was avoiding him and hoping he would not make any attempt, and nothing feels worse than that. As time passed, pressure increased. I finally had to say that it would likely be never as I don't know, and set him free. He stayed and accepted it as more of a friendship.

As abstract said, avoidance dense ever make us better long term. I don't think it is good short term either, at least not for myself. For me, that tip toeing around leads me to anger.

 

[carrieon]

I just wanted to say thank you all so much for your responses. I've read them all and will reply individually when I'm not so mentally fatigued. I'm so grateful, thank you.

 

[Gs172003]

Thank you for your response. I'm not in therapy at the moment, but have been in the past and I didn't...

Intimacy can be possible but it needs to be done slowly in your situation. Maybe start out with hand holding, then move on to cuddling, etc etc. Let it progress to that. Also intimacy is not just physical. It's fully knowing someone else and loving them anyway. Learn new things about each other. Maybe take some classes together. Who knows what that might open up