My resistance to doing ifs and more

[lostforgottensoul]

is this what other people do?

I think so. People coach themselves all the time. "Deep breath", "one step at a time", "it's going to be ok", "walk away" etc. I don't see this as anything different at all.

 

[Justmehere]

Maybe all I need to do is tweak how I challenge my thinking and do positive affirmations then?

I think the same stuff but in doing it in a more integrated way where I’m trying to coach those younger states, not just my adult self.

I don’t know. I’m sort of spilling out a word salad at the moment.

 

[ILoveLife]

I think the same stuff but in doing it in a more integrated way where I’m trying to coach those younger states, not just my adult self.

Yes! That's the goal of IFS.
Oh man, hope you're able. Just be ready for some frustration. Lots of compassion and self care are needed.

 

[Sideways]

Kind of having one of those moments wondering: is this what other people do?

Yel. All the time.

It’s one of my go-to tools when I’m having a panic or in a situation that has suddenly made me gery distressed. I switch my inner dialogue to something akin to the mind of things I would say to a stressed friend to help them get through (or get out of) a particularly distressing situation.

So like, “Remember your breathing, we’re going to head towards the door, it’s not very far, that will get us outside where it feels safer...” etc.

It’s not so much about positive affirmations for me - it’s more just making a point of changing the inner dialogue from panicked to things that will help me in a practical way in the moment.

I think it was one of my early cbt Ts that taught me that approach.

ETA: I use “we” because I have DID and I’m talking to all my parts.