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My Sister and Me

Thread starter #18
It's hard to know and differentiate between desire to have a relationship and the reality of the relationship (I find anyway). If that makes sense.

So complex. I've not resolved things with my relationships with any of my family members, so don't really have any words of wisdom.

Does your sister at least respect your experiences and expressions of your experiences? Even if she says she doesn't remember. But even that is complex, becuase maybe she is working hard at denial and your acceptance of reality challenges hers.
I think she is in denial. Her daughter thinks so too. I mean, how or why would I have gotten molested by our father's father and his band of pedophiles and she not? She says it didn't happen to her. But the signs are all there including a missing and forgotten childhood.
 
#20
She says it didn't happen to her. But the signs are all there including a missing and forgotten childhood
My sister has taken this approach, and while denying any csa, also 'doesn't remember' any of her childhood. Our having a relationship is contingent on me not ever raising the issue with her.

And while that was difficult to accept at first, I now respect that as an adult, she gets to choose how to cope with her past, and manage her future. I don't try and push a different way of healing or recovery on her anymore, even though I think she could benefit from addressing her past. It's her choice, and I respect that.

Our relationship is now based on what we have now, and moving into the future. And that seems to be working for her, and to some degree it's working for me too. Trying to her to do it any other way? Simply reinforced her anger, which she directed at me.

Will your sister be the same? No way to know. Just adding my experience fwiw. Hope you find a fulfilling relationship with your sister moving forward, or find a way to redefine things for yourself if it doesn't work out.
 
Thread starter #21
My sister has taken this approach, and while denying any csa, also 'doesn't remember' any of her childhood. Our having a relationship is contingent on me not ever raising the issue with her.

And while that was difficult to accept at first, I now respect that as an adult, she gets to choose how to cope with her past, and manage her future. I don't try and push a different way of healing or recovery on her anymore, even though I think she could benefit from addressing her past. It's her choice, and I respect that.

Our relationship is now based on what we have now, and moving into the future. And that seems to be working for her, and to some degree it's working for me too. Trying to her to do it any other way? Simply reinforced her anger, which she directed at me.

Will your sister be the same? No way to know. Just adding my experience fwiw. Hope you find a fulfilling relationship with your sister moving forward, or find a way to redefine things for yourself if it doesn't work out.
I have not tried to put my childhood on her at all. She said she didn't have that happen to her, so I have not brought it up since.
 
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