Aaron Thistle
New Here
I'm writing this because i was told it helps to get it out and to share. Hopefully someone can relate and feel less alone, or at the very least makes me feel less burdened. When i was three my mother had left my father, and met someone who had convinced her that she needed him. He convinced her to adopt his son. This is where it began. Shortly after his son had joined our family my "step-father" had decided we should move out to the countryside. His true colors came out shortly after and the abuse started. Both of us suffered but she worked, and I was left alone with them. During that time i was beaten, tortured, and sezually assaulted. I don't use the word torture lightly. They would do things such as waterboarding, whipping with a spiked belt, burning... The list goes on but it also gets worse. This went on daily for three years until i was six. Shortly before my mother grew wise and ran away with me, he had been beating on me for hitting his son in the back yard (this was a farm house backing onto a lake so no one was around for quite a distance). My dog defended me and he went inside got a shotgun and killed him in front of me. He made me bury what was left, and told my mother that he had run away. That night i remember my mother seeing the bruises on me when she came into my, and my step-brother's room while I was getting ready for bed. She confronted him and he pulled out his gun again which he did often, and said if she had a problem with his discipline he would kill her and then me. About a week later she carried me into the car after he had passed out and ran. Our lives had slowly begun to get better aside from my mother was pregnant with his child. We got into a car accident caused by a drunk driver, and i still remember seeing the other car and the scream i let out. I lost a kidney and my leg was minorly but irreparably damaged and my sister was born prematurely and died in my arms. My trauma ends at this point. I am now twenty two going on twenty three and when asked how i am doing generally my response is i haven't had a good day in twenty years because i relive this daily. Thankfully i have learned to function while having flashbacks using my adhd as a tool to cope, but this has cost me many friends, and relationships. In recent months I have forgotten what it is to feel anything. Anyway that's my story, thanks for reading if you made it to the bottom, then remember that there will always be someone who cares, including me.
