My T Crushed Me

[DharmaGirl]

So my T called me today and apologized. He didn't mean to invalidate me, he was reminding me that I could calm myself. He said he didn't mean to sound so flippant. I'm so relieved but I have to go through the trust process again. I talked to him about that and I'm feeling much better about it. Thank you all for your support. It kept me alive.

 

[anthony]

Well done on talking with him about it.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Great work, Monster!

(((((Clapping)))))

You deserve to feel SO proud of yourself. That was a very brave thing to do!

 

[kimba]

Hi Monster-
Glad you are feeling better. IMHO we get so good at hiding behind the mask of normalcy, that unless we are acting in the extreme because we are upset (ie. bouncing off the walls with anxiety), some people may have a hard time seeing we are upset. This happens with my T and I don't blame her. I realised I need to be a better communicator and just tell her that "I know I hide it well, but I am really upset right now" and take it from there. I can look like I am reading my Kindle while in the waiting area, but in reality just be trying to keep myself together until I can get into the office. In the meantime, I "appear" normal and not upset. Sorry that happened and do what feels right to you as far as changing therapists etc. You can't focus enough to help yourself if you are not comfortable.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Kinda-He knew I was upset, he meant I could calm myself down by saying I did it in the waiting room. It was a big, hurtful, misunderstanding and I really wish I had been brave enough to call him on it instead of running away.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Monster I am happy for you that it worked out. You got lucky. It is so hard to start over. I hope this makes it better for you from now on. You did the best you could with where you were at. Try not to beat up on yourself about it. Take gentle care of yourself you deserve it. Big hugs.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I do like him a lot. I've never had a T like him. He quotes Yoda! I was so upset with him that I must like him a lot.

 

[BloomInWinter]

OMG, Yoda?! How awesome is that?!

 

[Saturnine]

Think I have dismissed 3 therapists that way, just beacuse you believed something more about them and they just prove you wrong... easy like that.. It really, really sucks and every time you must rise even more from the first step .. Hang in there!

 

[DharmaGirl]

I am now doing skill building and DBT and relaxation. No trauma stuff since it only retraumatizes me. That is best for awhile. I feel so much better just concentrating on that and not digging into trauma. I get so triggered so easily. I am moving forward still, I just have to recenter.

 

[Wanda]

Monster, keep the faith at one time or another in our journey with out T we have to rebuild. My T had bronchitis and fell during that time with a hair line fracture that after a 3 week absence we rebuilt our relationship, because instead of hiding in my bed for 3 weeks I wrote in my journal and yesterday when I went in I had so much determination we reconnected within 15 minutes. I left feeling like it was one of the best sessions I had!

 

[BloomInWinter]

Great job! You're being very brave. I'm sorry your traumas make things so hard.

Sending wishes for rest and peace of mind.