My Therapist Has Been On Vacation....

[Justmehere]

I had to ask my therapist to stop writing the word 'bye' on the end of emails, because my abandonment issues were so strong and goodbye suggested an end to things!!

This reminded me of how my therapist always signs off on her communication with a phrase to indicate she will be there for me in the future (saying the exact phrase might give too much away)... One time she didn't give this sign off, and I freaked and asked her if I did something wrong. Sigh. I'm guessing she realizes more about my own abandonment issues than even I do! :)

They are so painful. I think you are right that if I can bring them up, it would be so helpful and good to process through them and would make a big difference. There has got to be small steps I can take to begin to deal with this... At the very least I could write it down and try to give it to her. That's a good idea.

Thanks for the encouragement about this and about the painting too. It has been a much needed outlet today. :)

 

[Hope4Now]

Just chiming in late here to say what lots of others have. I go through this every time. It brings up this inner war...I don't need this! I'm fine. Vs. shit how could he leave me hanging like this? Vs. I cannot allow myself to be this dependent on anyone...danger danger danger. Etc.

The las time was two weeks. I ended up writing something and keeping the appointment. I handed him what I wrote and said, "here, you read this while I get used to being here again." He did, and I did, and the bumpy break was repaired. I know he is good for me even though a lot of parts of me often scream run away! Attachment issues. Abandonment issues. Etc. all of it. You're not alone!

 

[Justmehere]

My therapist came back and I texted and asked if she was back and she said asked how I was doing. I am avoiding her like the plague. Stellar. :(

 

[PlainJane]

You're appointment is tomorrow, right?

 

[Born to Run]

What has helped me to move forward with reactions to my therapist in relation to absence or anything, is to tell him. I always tell him the weird stuff I have in my head that he might do, which I rationally know he will never do. Just a suggestion. As you ask above how to connect again; talking about it could be a way to connect again. Please don't cancel!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Can you write your therapist a letter telling her about your feelings of abandonment? When I was in therapy seperations were hard for me. I think you are normal for what you have been going through and you are not alone.

 

[PlainJane]

That's what I was thinking. I have a tendency to not say things out loud easily which I am sure is more common than not with most of us here ;) but I find that I can communicate better with a letter.