My Therapist Has Revealed She Has Had Similar Experiences.

[Bird33]

We were talking and I said, do you know what it is like to not be able to control your actions because you freeze and she said unfortunately I do.
I was really surprised. We talked some more and she let me ask her some questions. Things felt different.
Now she will tell me she knows how I feel , like really know how I feel.

I think it is helpful but it definitely feels different.

Has anyone else had something like this happen and how does it make you feel?

 

[mary1979]

I was given a social worker to help me navigate the mental health system here when I was underage and homeless.
She was an accompaniment to my psychiatrist visits for the next 8 years or so and visited me at home.

She had experienced multiple traumas in her youth, and her total understanding of my own position was invaluable to me, particularly given the fact i was so young, she understood me some times when even I couldn't.

 

[Bird33]

@mary1979 thank you. I think it is helpful because I think she really understands. It is just sometimes I find myself worrying about what I am saying because I don't want to upset her. Do you know what I mean?

 

[mary1979]

I do, but you shouldn't feel that way.

If she's decent she will have dealt with her own issues, she may not discuss details with you, but you sharing wont affect her personally.
If they do, then she's in the wrong profession and you better keep looking for a therapist that HAS healed.

 

[Suzetig]

I have someone who supports me who has gone through very similar experiences - she's shared more with me than she normally would and while I feel for her, I know she can handle my stuff as well as her own. She has supervision to take her feelings to do I don't worry about what I share. In fact knowing her background has really helped me to talk about things I find deeply shameful and be accepted.

She isn't my therapist but it is a boundaried, supportive relationship and I wouldn't be where I am now without her.

 

[Bird33]

Thank you guys. It helps to know others have felt better and been comforted by it.
She says I can ask anything I would like and I want to ask questions but I am not sure what is appropriate.

 

[Tinyflame]

I guess you could ask if you don't know if it's appropriate? (to ask).

I think understanding is huge. I can't say for T's, because they have their rules , & they'd have to know when it would be ok to say something, I think they'd have to be flexible maybe. But in another way, it also helps reduce stigma, & come up with solutions.

But I suppose I am not in-the-box enough, because I think humans are 'humans', & when we stop seeing & accepting & supporting each other that way, it seems, Idk- weird. I can't 'do' that well. Plus, it's more helpful to be honest. Wonderful to be understood, because I suppose = a better understanding of the difficulties/ gravity.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think, too, it helps if you respect or see your T in positive ways, & maybe then it could help to see yourself in a more positive light, or feel hope there's some way out/ improvement. Or maybe to be able to separate what is 'you' vs ptsd (which when you can't feels like you 'are' a disorder). And find out what is 'normal', eg " I feel (x) when I have to do/ think of (y), do you find that/ what works?"

 

[Bird33]

Thanks @Junebug!
Your right, my therapist is amazing and I am lucky I found her. I was really surprised when she told me because I would have never guessed that it happened to her too.
I have been asking her some things and it has been helpful. Sometimes I catch myself thinking of her in a terrible situation and I really feel bad but overall I think it has been positive. It does help me to see maybe I can get better too and be stronger.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

A lot of studies show that the relationship with the therapist is the most important aspect of therapy. As apposed to style or type of therapy.

So if this gives you a better therapeutic relationship with her then it can only be a good thing. With everything like worrying about upsetting her with what you share, talk to her about it. If she is as good as you have said here she will be able to put you at ease.

 

[Bird33]

Your right @NoWhereKnowWhere. I sometimes try to talk about it but then I get afraid to say anything because I don't want to ask the wrong thing. I know it is all me. She has been nothing but supportive and helpful.

 

[Tinyflame]

Sometimes I catch myself thinking of her in a terrible situation and I really feel bad but overall I think it has been positive. It does help me to see maybe I can get better too and be stronger

This is just me, but I actually feel better knowing things like that. But it might be because I was informed as a kid. But mostly I think because it's the truth. It's true it can be horribly awful & sad to think about her going through it, but (to me) that's not 'bad' in the way of how I think of 'bad' (= what's been done to myself, or what I have done wrong). I don't think compassion from ourselves or given to us hampers healing; if anything I'd say it helps to take away some of the shame/ self-hatred because the compassion you feel for her is 'supposed' to be what you give to yourself. But it's like untangling out of barbed wire, to deal with that. :(

I get afraid to say anything because I don't want to ask the wrong thing. I know it is all me. She has been nothing but supportive and helpful.

It sounds like there's been lots of reasons to trust, & consistency & kindness. I do think one thing though: we aren't probably used to being able to say 'no' or have rights or choices, or what we choose being respected. But she might feel ok to say no (likely she will tell you if it's too much, is what I mean, & make her own choices), if she wants to. So asking shouldn't cause her pain. Or perhaps rather, she will decide if sharing that pain (being reminded of things herself) is tolerable for her, & if it is then it may help both you & her. Because I suppose compassion or 'mirroring' works both ways?

Best wishes, she'll probably be happy you are communicating, & trying so hard. (Sorry I can't find words. :rolleyes: ) :hug: