My Therapist Is Gone

[Joan]

The transition will be hard...no doubt, but hoping that there will somehow be some immediate stability and comfort with the new therapist. Is there anything that works well with you for distraction till that appointment? Journaling, art, music, exercise?

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Is there anything that works well with you for distraction till that appointment?

Thankfully I'm not quite yet in a crisis so I'm still able to distract myself to some degree. But then as soon as I'm finished with the distraction it all comes back. Thankfully I'm a little more aware of things now so I'm able to try to do things. Like today I went out when I didn't need to. I knew the worse thing for me to do would be to sit at home alone. I knew I'd only obsess. I'm doing the best I can but I'm getting so emotionally exhausted from it you know? It's just not easy.

 

[Joan]

You are so right, it is not easy. I hope though that you can at least see that you are being strong by getting out, by recognizing that sitting at home alone would not be good. I can tell that you are fighting hard. Break it down as you need to an hour, a half hour at a time vs. looking at the big picture. If I understand correctly distraction is not to take the feelings and thoughts away forever, just to hold them odd until the intensity can decrease...or in your case until you have a meeting with the therapist, you are doing a great job...keep it up.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

If I understand correctly distraction is not to take the feelings and thoughts away forever, just to hold them odd until the intensity can decrease...or in your case until you have a meeting with the therapist, you are doing a great job...keep it up.

Thank you so much for saying that. You just explained distraction more extensively than my therapist did. She and I literally had a conversation about what to do when I felt like I was in a crisis. Part of what she said was "distract it away". And I thought isn't that kind of like holding a beachball under water? When then does it get addressed? But as long as I'm not in crisis I can use distraction to ride out the anxiety. Especially if I know that I can address the issue later when I'm more calm. And thank you for saying I'm doing a great job. It helps to hear that.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Ninja I totally thought of you when I saw my new therapist today. We got to her office and sat down she pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. One of the first things she said was "I have your notes but I didn't read them. I like to meet the person first and if you want me to read them I'll read and study them". Right then I was starting to like her.

She asked me what my other therapist and I were working on. I told her we were working on coping mechanisms for when I'm in crisis mode. She asked me to describe what I mean by crisis so I gave her an example. And she said "you're not talking about coping mechanisms. Those are what you use for coping with the day to day stress of day to day life. What you're talking about is grounding. When you're dissociating like that coping mechanisms don't help. You're in crisis. Crisis means you need a quick quick thing to bring you back. Here let me give you.something". And she got a paper from her filing cabinet and made a copy of it. It's different grounding techniques that might work. And right then I knew she got it. And right then I knew I liked her. I feel good about her. And I think I'm going to go farther faster with her.

 

[Joan]

Yay!! I am so happy that it went well. I hope that your anxiety has gone down some and that you will soon establish a good working relationship with the new therapist and you will feel like you are making some progress. Good job on just getting there today and being able to articulate what you need. thanks for letting us know how it went.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Thank you Joan. You were right there when I was in a bad place and I really appreciate that. I think this therapist and I are more in a closer sync. I think that will help so much. As much as it makes me nervous like oh no something bad is going to happen just because I'm saying this I actually feel some hope.

 

[Joan]

wow...that is huge!! Hope is great. try to hold on to what that feels like.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I'll try but honestly it scares me. Having hope in the past has taught me that it can be like a blade with sharp edges. I've had hope before only to have it cut into me and prove to me it's a dangerous thing. So I'm definitely cautious in regards of hope. I wish I could feel it and be confident in it.

 

[ninja]

"I have your notes but I didn't read them. I like to meet the person first and if you want me to read them I'll read and study them".

:woot::) That is awesome! I'm super impressed.

And right then I knew she got it. And right then I knew I liked her. I feel good about her. And I think I'm going to go farther faster with her.

Oooh, so happy to hear this!! :hug: