My Toxic Family Is In Love

[Nighthawk]

With my new therapist and it makes me want to leave him. He has gone above and beyond over the last few weeks even checking up on my after 2 er visits. He is not the first T that I have allowed to have sessions with my family but this is kinda weirding me out. My mother sent him a very expensive gift. He told me about it but she did not. Then she says he is an angel I almost feel like my very toxic mother wants to date the married T. creeeeeeeeepy. Help suggestions comments

 

[BlueOrange]

Ewwwww!

So, he's returned the gift to her with a polite note about ethical rules, right? Which means you can trust him to keep her at a distance, and this isn't something that you need to manage for him, right?

If not, then I'm worried that he might not be setting safe boundaries.

 

[intothelight]

Is he your therapist or a family therapist? My gut instinct is to get another therapist.

 

[Friday]

Call me jaded, but they know you'll leave if they love him? I'd wonder what about him scared them so much they're working so hard to get him on-side, and get you to run.

AKA. Agreed. I think it's a warning, either way. Anyone who X likes, has a black mark against them. Anyone whom X makes a point of telling me they like? Gets shifted into an entirely different category of 'needs to be watched closely'.

 

[scout86]

I'd at least talk to him about it. Having had some experience with how charming some people can be, and how badly that can blow up, I'd very much want know what, exactly, his take on all this.

 

[DharmaGirl]

EWWWWW! is the first thing I thought of too. I think he should return the gift, but at least he told you about it.

 

[Nighthawk]

He did return the gift and said he thinks she sees him as her saviour on my behalf and that he thought she was trying to thank him for charging me as little as he does. But what creeps me out is my sick mother asks me how he is and tells me that he is a walking angle. Its really causing me to want to look for someone else. Geeeez I only allowed him to meet with her for 1 session 3 months ago and she is asking if she should meet with him again. All this grossness is making me want to run. And yes I intend to talk to him about it again next week because after her request today it has made me want to disgaurd him.

He is my therapist @intothelight.

Its my Sick mother that put the char on a person I do not know. I was in the session for 20 min and it was sickening.

 

[joeylittle]

He did return the gift and said he thinks she sees him as her saviour on my behalf and that he thought she was trying to thank him for charging me as little as he does.

Im really glad he gave it back. I hope you can talk this stuff out with him - it would be worth it, for you.

 

[kilted]

This is something to talk to your therapist about..... one thing that your post seems to indicate is that you're responding to how your family behave toward your therapist...... not to how your therapist is responding to your family.

Anyone your family like, you want to reject.... which is logical if your family are highly dysfunctional, however it means the ability to form and then trust your own judgement about people is impaired.

 

[Nighthawk]

Ugghhhh now he wants to meet with the whole family and I said no

 

[Sideways]

now he wants to meet with the whole family and I said no

This sounds like a no-win situation for you right at the moment.

Does your T understand how much this has distressed you so far? Managing the fallout from his appointment with mum seems tp be the priority over more family appointments, and maybe setting some clear boundaries with mum about whether you're ok discussing your therapy, or your T, with her at the moment.

 

[scout86]

Did he explain his reasons for wanting to do that? If it was me, I'd only be up for it if I was SURE he was actually on 'my side'. He IS your T, after all.