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My T's Words - It's amazing how sometimes you just don't know what you need exactly until someone says it.

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Digz

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So, I'm back in therapy after many years of managing by myself because of some horrific new flashbacks and my T responded in an email to some journalling I sent him the other day with these words, ", you deserve all the love you receive, and more, you have suffered a lot in life and deserve support."

It was one of those hit you in the chest, relieving kind of moments. I didn't realise how much I needed someone to acknowledge that I had suffered through something horrific, especially after managing silently by myself for so long. It's amazing how sometimes you just don't know what you need exactly until someone says it. I posted on here a little while ago that I felt self-indulgent for saying this was hard and over-whelming and it wasn't until kind people responded with supporting messages that told me that it was okay to think it was tough, did I realise I needed that support also. Realisations abound! :P
 
Yes, the online thing can be difficult. I hope you get to meet in person soon, but it was a lovely thought to send you a voice message. On the flip side the emergence of an online model due to covid-19 in the little state in Australia where I live has actually been beneficial to me. I previously lived in a different city where I saw a therapist, but moved away because the city was full of triggers, to another, smaller town. I love living here but there is only one visiting T who travels from another region and the person servicing the area tends to change a lot, I guess because most Ts don't want to travel 200k. But now I am actually able to access my T from the previous city I lived in, who helped me through the emergence of my first flashbacks and it's much easier because he knows the background and trust is already established. Funny how some things are a double-edged sword like that. Anyway, I hope you are hanging in there and travelling along okay considering you can't see your T.
 
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