My Vet Is Gone Again...

[1hopefulmilso]

Should I contact him or wait until he does? I think right now he sees me as the enemy. He's not answering my texts or calls. I'm worried for his safety bc when we spoke he said he was on the edge.

 

[holdenmonty]

I haven't left for a whole night or a whole day before. The longest I disapeared was after some stuff happened at work and my supervisor asked me if I needed to clear my head and I said yes and just walked around for a good solid hour and just zoned out I really don't remember where all I went all I know is that I wasn't at work. I did have a feeling I needed to get to a safe place and found myself in a tree for about half an hour before my mind came back and realized that I needed to go back to work. I came back and started working again and my supervisor didn't say a single thing to me.

 

[Friday]

@holdenmonty Trees are awesome! And while few people ever notice you're in one (wtf, people just don't look), those who do just sort of cock their head or BS with ya for a moment. Unlike rooftops. Last useful thing to me when I'm clearing me head are EMS folks called because there's a jumper. ;) <chuckling> Helped EMS look for the EDP for something like 20 minutes once before realizing someone probably called me in. Oh FFS. I was having a cigarette. And I think I'm high strung, sometimes.

 

[Friday]

@1hopefulmilso... I would wait. If he asked for space, you agreed, and then have been texting / calling & that's not in your agreement? There's most likely going to be quite a bit of pushback. It might not feel from the supporter side like a kid in the backseat kicking your chair no matter how many times you ask them to stop, and asking "Are we there, yet?" 10,000 times, and screaming and screaming and screaming, and throwing their cup at your head... But that's one of the ways it feels from the sufferer side.

 

[holdenmonty]

I remember there was one time that my wife and I had a blow up and I walked I think about five miles in one direction and then the five miles back. She called and texted me and I ignored both and even turned my phone off because I was tired of my phone ringing. As tough as it is I would say wait but if you can't wait if you know of some places that he goes maybe check those places.

When my wife and I had a blow up the only reason I decided to go back home that night is because it was getting cold and I only had a sweatshirt, pj pants and slippers on because that is what I had on me when blew up. If I would have thought a little more about going for a walk I would have grabed my jacket and shoes and wouldn't have came back until the morning.

 

[1hopefulmilso]

He said to come by in the morning, I did but he wasn't there. I haven't texted him or called. This is extremely unusual. I reached out to his friend and he hasn't heard anything from him. I called his therapist at VA and he said he is going to reach out to him. No word from anyone. He deleted facebook. Please pray for his safety. He has never done this so I am concerned now.

 

[Ocean5]

leaving the house even if he was there alone doesn't seem strange to me. Sometimes it seems like physically moving is helpful, but it's nice also to know you have a quiet, safe place, with no pressure, to return to to finish getting your act together.

Totally relate to this. Even though I live alone. I walk great distances thinking - to relax. I listen to podcast, meditation, positive things to keep me in present moment - just for some "calm." . At same time knowing I have a place to return, and be alone, and safe, helps so much. (Yea I live alone.)

Please pray for his safety. He has never done this so I am concerned now.

I will. At same time take care of yourself. Someone once told me, I can't be of any help to your brother if you run yourself so far down worrying about him.

Actually being close to nature is what I long for so much now... brings so much peace and understanding.

just walked around for a good solid hour and just zoned out I really don't remember where all I went all I know is that I wasn't at work. I did have a feeling I needed to get to a safe place and found myself in a tree .

Been there - just needed to get to safe place. Tree sounds like a "perfect place." I spent so much of my youth climbing trees....even though now most would consider me an "urban city guy." Yet I've lived in tropical forest....rain forest. But I've always lived so close to nature and so disconnected in last year. I need to get back in touch.

 

[shimmerz]

My car. I go for road trips that can last weeks. I try to let people know where I am but I can't always reach out. I have trained the people I know how to deal with that effectively with me. We did this by them voicing their concerns when I wasn't in a 'wander' state. We figured out a safety plan for me but at times I stretch those too.

If I was to draw a picture of me in those states, it would be of a leaf (me) in a wind storm. I don't care where I land, I just go with the wind, land where I land, and stay where I feel like staying until I come back around again.

 

[NarcSis]

Do the two of you have a safety plan? It's a tough thing to have to do but it's probably a good idea. To say to someone,"you're allowed to be alone but just know if I don't hear back from you in X number of hours/days, I will call someone (therapist/police/EMS)," may feel threatening to a sufferer but for both of your sakes, you need to establish a plan.
I don't always feel comfortable telling my hubby if I'm feeling unsafe, sometimes it's even hard to admit it to myself. I try not to run away, I just try to find a quiet spot to be alone.
Hope you hear from him. Hugs.

 

[Ocean5]

If I was to draw a picture of me in those states, it would be of a leaf (me) in a wind storm. I don't care where I land, I just go with the wind, land where I land, and stay where I feel like staying until I come back around again.

I feel for you - at same time wanted to compliment you on your words and use of imagery.

 

[pepper_e]

PTSD, for me, has a theme of the unknown. So I seek places that are familiar, that are engaging, and yet distancing. For me, PTSD manifests itself in an alienating, distancing, self-loathing, craving for connection with a world that has 'moved on without me'. I am constantly drowning in a feeling of over-stimulation from the things around me, so I have to distance myself. But if I distance myself too much I get lonely and feel like the world is going to move on even more without me.

I seek a place that is both of those things. Familiar, and different, connecting and distancing.

Starbucks is where I go sometimes. A different one every time. I also have paranoia that I am being followed. So I can not go to the same place twice in a set period of time.

Sometimes I have to be alone, so alone that I have to feel the distance between me and the rest of the world. I have to be miles and miles away from civilization. Before social events, and busy days I need time to flush everything, work out all the demons.

I don't know if this is like anyone else, but the location doesn't really matter. I know it does to those who love us, but the location is trivial. It is the feeling of the location for me. The connection or lack thereof, is the part that helps me recharge.