Madmaninabox
Confident
Hello I was really triggered in therapy today.
I have never had a flashback during therapy before. My therapist actually said she had never seen someone have a flashback in therapy before. I actually felt kinda bad because I freaked out. I don't even remember or know exactly what I did during but I "came back" and was crying and shaking and hugging myself.
And she tried have me do grounding exercises she asked me if my feet were on the ground and I got really scared like it was my abuser telling me what to do. I said I couldn't move and then I got more scared because my voice sounded really really wrong.
She asked my to describe the room around me. I tried but as I spoke more I told her the color of the walls and the carpet I recognized what my voice sounded like. It was me but I sounded like I did as a child. I asked her if my voice sounded strange she told me just to keep saying things in the room. It was so scary because I recognized everything but it was like I have never been in this room I have no idea how to explain that. Eventually I got more grounded and my voice returned to normal.
I asked her if I sounded strange again and she said I was talking very slowly. And I felt like I was talking really quickly so this was surprising. I told her I sounded like me as a child and she said I was having a flashback.
Basically I'm just wondering has anyone else ever experienced this? In my head I sounded like me as a child but I didn't in real life. Also I felt super small even though I'm not. It was really scary on top of the really intense flashback.
I have never had a flashback during therapy before. My therapist actually said she had never seen someone have a flashback in therapy before. I actually felt kinda bad because I freaked out. I don't even remember or know exactly what I did during but I "came back" and was crying and shaking and hugging myself.
And she tried have me do grounding exercises she asked me if my feet were on the ground and I got really scared like it was my abuser telling me what to do. I said I couldn't move and then I got more scared because my voice sounded really really wrong.
She asked my to describe the room around me. I tried but as I spoke more I told her the color of the walls and the carpet I recognized what my voice sounded like. It was me but I sounded like I did as a child. I asked her if my voice sounded strange she told me just to keep saying things in the room. It was so scary because I recognized everything but it was like I have never been in this room I have no idea how to explain that. Eventually I got more grounded and my voice returned to normal.
I asked her if I sounded strange again and she said I was talking very slowly. And I felt like I was talking really quickly so this was surprising. I told her I sounded like me as a child and she said I was having a flashback.
Basically I'm just wondering has anyone else ever experienced this? In my head I sounded like me as a child but I didn't in real life. Also I felt super small even though I'm not. It was really scary on top of the really intense flashback.