Narcissistic Friend

[nursenurse]

Sorry, have never gotten the quote button down pat, that was a somewhat tongue in cheek in response to "What are you called to say?"

 

[Hydrotroop91]

Y'all are great! Lol I think y'all are right. I'll come here for support, my t, and my other two friends. I'm gonna still talk to her but have a lot less expectations. We are trying to get some cool resources for other women in our local area and we have a little trio going so I don't think cutting her completely out is warrented. I was just seriously frustrated over the past week. Luckily the other felt the same.

Thank y'all again for your help and opinions!

 

[jmni]

This sounds like a support group or workshop/team-building. In that case she probably should of been more supportive. You have to consider that, just because she has had the same experience it doesn't mean she will have the same opinion or outlook about it or even much too contribute. She may not feel obligated to be a good friend or a supportive person at all. Just because you think she would be a great if she was a bit different, she doesn't have to be anything. To be frank, you are really projecting this need onto her. If you are focused on improving or resilience, she does not seem like she is going to help. She could of, but she's not. It sounds a bit catty and if you are doing these things to heal, then that is a waste of time and effort.

 

[Hydrotroop91]

We've known each other for a bit and she always relies on us so I figured it would be mutual but it has been and you're right its not been helpful relying on her. I thought that's what friends are for and it just hasn't been that way. It was a team building group and we're also on another support group/project together.

 

[KwanYingirl]

FYI cigarettes are not a healthy coping mechanism.stop poisoning yourself. And, yeah, I was in group therapy a few times and there was always one person who sucked the life out of the rest of us. Move on and up.

 

[shandemonium]

With friends like that, who needs enemies..? I think you are trying too hard around the wrong person. If that person influences you in a negative way, it is time for you to shove off and move on. This isn't kindergarten and life is just too damned short to be worried about a friend like this one.

Well said. Succinct and exactly all that needs to be said.

I think @nursenurse nailed it.. haven't read the rest of replies I think this says it all

 

[jmni]

On the up side, if she is negative and competative in group, she's not really someone to open up and share pain with. Perhaps its a good thing you're not on the same page. It's disappointing to lose a friend, but they tend to be a bit idealized. Don't torment yourself by questioning it or wishing it were otherwise. Countless people can have similar pain, but in recovery you do 99.999% of the work on your own.

 

[Hydrotroop91]

Yeah. The plus side to this I learned to see the bad relationship before it was too late and gained another friend I now see that I can truly trust. I struggle to get out of bad relationships before they get to be way too much for me. Talked with my pastor about it this morning. He's glad I'm seeing it now. Almost married a bad guy and he hates seeing me in these places. Thanks for helping me see it too guys!