Sufferer Navigating PTSD; Seeking advice on sustainable habits

[333]

Hi y'all, I have been working through different therapies to help cope with PTSD. I especially wish to hear from those who have a partner who is affected. I want to learn more about sustainable, healthy habits to help me and my partner navigate this journey.

 

[Riley Jones]

Hi y'all, I have been working through different therapies to help cope with PTSD. I especially wish to hear from those who have a partner who is affected. I want to learn more about sustainable, healthy habits to help me and my partner navigate this journey.

Hi there,

Welcome to myptsd.com! It's great to have you here, and I deeply admire your commitment to working through therapies to cope with PTSD. You've come to the right place to connect with others who can offer support and understanding.

Living with PTSD can be challenging, both for the individual experiencing it and their loved ones. It's crucial to foster open communication and understanding between partners. Sharing your experiences and seeking advice from those who have firsthand knowledge can be incredibly helpful.

You'll find a wealth of information and support in the forums here at myptsd.com. In particular, I recommend checking out the "Relationships and Coping with PTSD" forum, where you can connect with others who are navigating similar challenges as partners of individuals with PTSD. You'll find insightful discussions, personal experiences, and advice on building sustainable, healthy habits within relationships.

While peer support is invaluable, it's also essential to seek professional help if needed. A trauma-informed therapist can provide you with individualized guidance and tools for both you and your partner to cope with PTSD more effectively.

Remember, you're not alone on this journey. Reach out, connect, and share your experiences. Together, we can find strength and understanding.

Warm regards,
Riley Jones

 

[Renly]

Welcome! My partner doesn’t have PTSD, but he’s been great in learning how to help me cope. Open communication is a big one and so is flexibility, laughter, and forgiveness. There are many supporters here who may be able to provide some valuable insights and specific tools. Best of luck!

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum!

Couldn’t function without my daily exercise, relaxation and sleep routine!!

 

[Friday]

Do you have PTSD, support someone who does, or are an educator/journalist/medical professional/student/etc. looking for solid first person experience?

 

[333]

Do you have PTSD, support someone who does, or are an educator/journalist/medical professional/student/etc. looking for solid first person experience?

I have PTSD. The flashbacks I experience can be very frightening, and I want to work to alleviate the effect they could have on my relationship with my incredible boyfriend. His caring support means the world to me.

Any advice or experience you could share would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Flying Dove]

I am struggling. I have ptsd and so does my husband. He insisted people read the news current events discuss it. I was dumb enough to do it. He is a veteran and doomsday prepper. I am retired nurse- was rn. I got consumed retraumatized angry fearful. I am back in therapy. He is a very good man. Our belief system is opposite. His is end of the world. Not me. I almost died from bacterial meningitis of my brain in 2014. I limit my intake of the news now. I have been working on this about 2 weeks now. I no longer see in the news what he does. The fight flight fear response and all the release of epinephr8ne dopamine has drastically declined in regard to this. We did have an issue yesterday. I did tell him after my last therapist appt 3 days ago we neded to discuss separat8ng. He got ballistic. Now we seem more on even keel but said this evening it is sad we cannot talk about the world events. Besides my therapy I do my own emdr listen to Tim Fletcher exercise - walking and Tai chi. Deep breathing trauma meditations. I have 2 dogs who are documented ESAs.

 

[333]

I am struggling. I have ptsd and so does my husband. He insisted people read the news current events discuss it. I was dumb enough to do it. He is a veteran and doomsday prepper. I am retired nurse- was rn. I got consumed retraumatized angry fearful. I am back in therapy. He is a very good man. Our belief system is opposite. His is end of the world. Not me. I almost died from bacterial meningitis of my brain in 2014. I limit my intake of the news now. I have been working on this about 2 weeks now. I no longer see in the news what he does. The fight flight fear response and all the release of epinephr8ne dopamine has drastically declined in regard to this. We did have an issue yesterday. I did tell him after my last therapist appt 3 days ago we neded to discuss separat8ng. He got ballistic. Now we seem more on even keel but said this evening it is sad we cannot talk about the world events. Besides my therapy I do my own emdr listen to Tim Fletcher exercise - walking and Tai chi. Deep breathing trauma meditations. I have 2 dogs who are documented ESAs.

Hi Flying Dove, I am so sorry your living condition is unstable. I am proud of you for standing up for your boundaries even when he wasn’t able to behave himself.

I also do EMDR therapy. Could you please share more about the meditations that have helped you?

 

[Friday]

I have PTSD. The flashbacks I experience can be very frightening, and I want to work to alleviate the effect they could have on my relationship with my incredible boyfriend. His caring support means the world to me.

Any advice or experience you could share would be greatly appreciated.

The 2 best things I can share are

1. (For me & the people around me) The ptsd cup explanation

2. (For me AND -huge, huge, AND- the people around me) Learning to divorce my emotions from both my symptoms, and my actions. <<< Which means?

- On a personal level, just because I’m having a panic attack? Does. Not. Mean. I. Actually. Have. To. Panic. Which sounds a bit crazypants, but it’s like a breath of fresh air once that separation happens. Yes, my heart is jackhammering in my chest, and my blood has turned to ice water, and my mouth is dry, and I can taste metal in my throat, and, and, and, as all of the PHYSICAL things are happening… but? My thoughts are clear, and there’s no rage/fear demanding action (fight/flight). It’s “just” a panic attack. Or flashback. Or intrusive thoughts. Or, or, or. It’s a disassociation trick, using that innate human ability to good use, (same as professional distancing), that I’m best able to access when my symptoms are running so hot, that I’ve got a lot of practice in it. When I’m only having a single panic attack, or flashback, or whatever, once every few years??? They tend to knock me down like a rogue wave on the beach, ass over teakettle, disoriented/unable to breathe/ struggling to stand up… a single event can EAT the next 3 days of my life. Hours in the “moment” and a staggeringly long time to recover from. But? When it’s daily &/or multiple times a day? It may only eat MINUTES of my life. Just because I’m practiced at handling it.

- On a relationship level, it means NOT acting on what I’m feeling. No matter how infuriated/terrified/suspicious/numb/etc.? I take a step back, and treat people how I want to be treated… instead of lashing out at THEM. It’s not. their. fault. that I’m feeling (or not feeling) this way. And, as what I’m feeling is a symptom, instead of a reality? It will pass.

I’d had PTSD for yonks before I learned how to do THAT one, and it was becoming a mom that did it. No matter how sick, passed off, grumpy, terrified I happened to be? It’s the smile & happy to see YOU, calm/cool/collected, port in a storm, actions I chose to take. Before becoming a mom, whilst I could mind my bearing at work? At least to a certain degree? In my personal life I was exceptionally honest/reactionary: happy = smile, sad = frown. If I was feeling it? I directed whatever I was feeling at the person/people I was with. PTSD? Means those feelings are seeeeeeriously not related to reality, a whole helluva lotta the time. Responding to the present as if it’s the past. Not having learned from the past, but as if it’s the actual past, right here & now. Realities overlapping. Once I STOPPED doing that??? Learned to take a step back? OMFG. MASSIVE improvements on the relationship front. It’s still just as honest, it “just” being true to the present, instead of treating person A like they’re person B.

 

[Flying Dove]

Hi Flying Dove, I am so sorry your living condition is unstable. I am proud of you for standing up for your boundaries even when he wasn’t able to behave himself.

I also do EMDR therapy. Could you please share more about the meditations that have helped you?

I have tried many but I really like now Jason Stephenson you tube. Insight timer is good but now requires a fee to access the better meditations and talks.

 

[333]

The 2 best things I can share are

2. (For me AND -huge, huge, AND- the people around me) Learning to divorce my emotions from both my symptoms, and my actions. <<< Which means?

- On a relationship level, it means NOT acting on what I’m feeling. No matter how infuriated/terrified/suspicious/numb/etc.? I take a step back, and treat people how I want to be treated… instead of lashing out at THEM. It’s not. their. fault. that I’m feeling (or not feeling) this way. And, as what I’m feeling is a symptom, instead of a reality? It will pass.

I’d had PTSD for yonks before I learned how to do THAT one, and it was becoming a mom that did it. No matter how sick, passed off, grumpy, terrified I happened to be? It’s the smile & happy to see YOU, calm/cool/collected, port in a storm, actions I chose to take. Before becoming a mom, whilst I could mind my bearing at work? At least to a certain degree? In my personal life I was exceptionally honest/reactionary: happy = smile, sad = frown. If I was feeling it? I directed whatever I was feeling at the person/people I was with. PTSD? Means those feelings are seeeeeeriously not related to reality, a whole helluva lotta the time. Responding to the present as if it’s the past. Not having learned from the past, but as if it’s the actual past, right here & now. Realities overlapping. Once I STOPPED doing that??? Learned to take a step back? OMFG. MASSIVE improvements on the relationship front. It’s still just as honest, it “just” being true to the present, instead of treating person A like they’re person B.

I am struggling with the reactive response you mentioned. I was recently distraught, begging him not to abuse me, when one of those moments came up. He’s never made me feel like he would, and I know I wasn't genuinely speaking to him. During everyday life, I don’t have an issue regulating these emotions; I treat people warmly and maintain my boundaries. My fear exacerbates with triggers. Could you please share more about how you separated those painful reactions to re-experiencing trauma from how that pain manifests in your body?

 

[Friday]

My fear exacerbates with triggers. Could you please share more about how you separated those painful reactions to re-experiencing trauma from how that pain manifests in your body?

Unfortunately?

Practice.

Each and every time it happens, pulling myself up short, walking it back, making it right. Happens faster & faster, the sooner/earlier I can catch myself, until I can stop it before it effects others, and then before it starts.