Near Breakdown During Test

[Deleted member 28403]

Yesterday I had a school exam in the musicians school and teacher placed me in the very front of the class, facing the blackboard.

After the first minute I was constantly turning to look behind me and was completely panicking. My hands were shaking and fear of harm filled me. After a few minutes of the test I managed to ask the teacher to move to the back of the class, where I could see everyone and watch their moves (not with those words). Can I do anything about panic attacks? Similar thing happened to me on the language competition - county tier as the teacher that I hated from my third school was there. I completely panicked and couldn't think. My hands were shaking and although I knew the right ones I couldn't control my body and kept choosing simply random answers. I need help.

Does anyone know of a way of coping with that, as I simply can't cope with seeing people from past.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

When I am in a situation that might trigger me, I eat a peppermint or hold a small rock. Sometimes those things can help to calm me. I also think it was smart to ask to be moved to the back of the classroom and I think the more you can set a situation up to make yourself feel more comfortable, the better. Sometimes the best way to avoid a panic attack is to make sure things are as safe and comfortable as possible for you from the beginning. Is there a way you can talk to your teacher(s) and ask to always have a seat in the back of the classroom?

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I normally sit in the back, it was just the placement for the test. The problem is that in such situations I often completely freeze and can't do anything. I could barely listen to the musical dictation.

Luckily I moved on time, so I still had 100% on test.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I am so glad that you were able to unfreeze and move in time to do so well on the test. That is wonderful. I freeze, too, so I understand what you mean. I sometimes tell a trusted co-worker or friend and then can sometimes be my advocate.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Good idea, to bad I have no friends there, so I'm all on my own a lot.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Do you have a school counselor you can talk to?

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I don't trust schools at all.

They just shoved the bullying under the carpet to save reputation.

I hate schools.

 

[shimmerz]

I don't trust schools at all.

Of course you don't @otakujome . Given your experience that would be a natural reaction. One of the classic ways that bullying works is by having the victim feel as if they are all alone. That way nobody will see/believe what the victim is saying. Be very careful of this if you could and remain open to the fact that there may be just one person out there who will hear you. Will be able to help you. If you lose faith in this (even if it is not your reality right now), then they have won.

This is not presented as a criticism but instead out of caring and experience. I hope you can accept it as such and apply it sometime in the very near future.

Bully's largest fear is a light shining on them. Being found out. Always watch for those opportunities.

As far as sitting in front of everyone - I experience that as well. So hard to concentrate. I think the advice given by @JEKBreatheandBelieve is sound for in the moment issues.

Also @Solara asked about a guidance counselor. If you can possibly think of anyone at the school or an adult who can hear you would you accept that or would you be fearful that it would make things worse?