Relationship Need Advice From A Combat Ptsd Person About Marriage

[Court]

Yesterday was a good day compared to most with him opening up!

He is currently deployed and I am doing my best to be a loving supportive wife. He tells me the meanest things and then just cuts me off but if I don't email him or answer his call I get his rage in full force and then the next thing is he doesn't mean to hurt me but one day he wants to be married(13 years) and he wants us to raise our children together and the next he hates this marriage and he is sick of forcing it.

He is trying to control the situation saying I need to stay in our home (we had it built last year) and doesn't want me to go home to my family. If we are going to end up apart I need help and support so I can work as I haven't in 12 years as he and I agreed I would stay at home with our children. He is off training when he is at home 75% of the time.

He has said his head is f**ked up and he hates his job he hates that place. Do I stay and wait the next 3 months until he gets home and stay by his side like I want to or do I start figuring life out without him? I am devoted but need a heads up. I am seeing a chaplain without him knowing to help me find myself and how to get more info about PTSD. Sorry I went on and on my head is a mess. Thanks in advance for any info!

C

 

[Rich505]

I have combat PTSD and it is nightmare. He's stuck in a situation that he can't fully talk about and probably needs to. Your the victim of misdirected anger my wife was too. I'd see some stuff and when we would talk I'd snap at her her pressing for answers what was wrong made it worse because I couldn't tell her on the phone and really didn't want her to know. The only thing I can say is be supportive and try to get him to see mental health. Luckily I did and I got a medical bored and honorable retirement. If I wouldn't have my chain of command was going to kick me out with a dishonorable.

 

[Court]

Thank you Rich505.

Today was a good day but it is hard him being half way across the world and really doing much. I know he loves me and our children but his job is one of high stress and doing a lot of stuff I think he didn't realize would be so hard to swallow. I know he will do whatever to stay in the army because at times he will say its the only thing he is good at. I support him and have told him this many times lately and letting him know I will never walk away.

There are reasons for which I would possibly have to though I don't think that is what he needs to hear. I won't give up on him I was told by the chaplain when he lashes out now to remember the man I kissed and sent away to do his job and maybe he has changed due to war BUT somewhere inside him is he man that stood there crying as he had to leave. I just want the best for him along with our family.