Need Some Help/advice

[JTP]

I spent 12 months in afghanistan from 2009-2010. I did not experience any serious combat or anything that could cause PTSD. I dealt a lot with indirect combat, such as calling artillery missions or casualty evacuations. I also spent time training afghan troops directly which involved living with them on their base. When I first came home, I noticed that I was very emotional. I would cry at the end of TV shows or cheesy movies; I have never been a very emotional guy. I also would tear up during serious conversations with friends and family. I started avoiding people when I could. I had to be at work during the day, but the evenings I would keep to myself and mostly play video games or read magazines. When I left the service, I started taking classes at a university near my home town. I noticed small things at first, such as I never felt comfortable with my back to people in class or at stores. I also would only go to social events if there were other veterans with me since I found it difficult to trust other people. As time passed, and as classes got harder, I started to get stressed out. Now I break out into heavy sweats all the time. The first time it happened was in an anatomy lab which involved a practical. I had to stand at a station and every 2 minutes the students walked to new stations. Not sure what happened, but I just started panicking and sweating and my shirt was soaked. Any time people are moving around me or if I feel any anxiety, I am immediately soaked. I tried medicated antiperspirant, and it has not helped at all. Now I try to wear black as often as possible, but I need to wear uniforms on certain days. Most of the sweating comes from my armpits and lower back. When I get really nervous, I sweat all the way down my legs and a little from my forehead. I also cannot sleep. I stay up til about 6 or 7 am every morning, and I usually get a 2-3 hours of sleep. Every few days, I get about 10 where I sleep like a rock and cannot be disturbed. About 2 months ago, I finally broke down and saw a doc. She prescribed 25 mg of zoloft, which I have been taking every day, but it has provided no relief. I read that it can take 4-6 weeks, so I am hoping that effects are still coming. I am seeing her again next friday to possibly increase the dose. I notice that I am very vigilant, all the time. I am constantly scanning the environment and watching every movement that people make. I never feel safe even when I am with people that I consider friends. As these things get more severe, I get more anxious and more depressed. Now, I try to stay at home whenever I can. My wife often plans social events like dinners or things, but I try everything I can to get out of going. I haven't even talked to her about the things that I have been experiencing. I think I can deal with the anxiety and sleeping, but I really want to stop the sweating. It adds a whole new element of anxiety and stress, because it is a never ending cycle. I am constantly worrying about the sweating which makes me sweat even more. Has anyone ever experienced sweating like this? Or anything similar to this? I am desperate for advice or answers on how to stop it. I am going to try to get screened for PTSD at the VA sometime this summer. Right now, I am way to busy with classes and I assume that it will take several months to get an appointment (it did the last few times when I tried to do basic things such as registering). I hate feeling like this, but I hope that there is someone who can help. Thank you.

 

[BaMuoiBa]

Welcome Josh, sounds like your experiencing some classic symptoms of the beast (PTSD). I'm no Dr. but a lot of what you describe is very similar to what many of us combat vets experience. Get yourself a workup by the VA in the mean time there are volumes to read right here regarding medications and therapy. There is also some reading for you wife that may her understand your behavior.

I did not experience any serious combat or anything that could cause PTSD.

You may not feel that you did but thats not you call. Get to reading and ask about what you feel you don't understand.

Ba

 

[Jimmy1]

Josh, welcome to the forum. Mate those symptoms are common with a lot things, so I will ask you a few questions even though I am not a psych.

You say you were in Afghanistan but didn't experience any serious combat situations. Were you ever near mortar or rocket fire? Did you ever see a dead body? Were you ever shot at or near someone who was shot whether it be civilian or military?

 

[Sleeping Dragon]

Welcome Josh,

Take a very close look at what Ba and Jimmy wrote, and then go even deeper. Understand that if you have post traumatic stess it will not go away on its own. It will not improve if you simply ignore it.

It's true that we are not doctors or councilors. However, all of us have delt with combat related issues for most of our lives. Based on my personal experience I believe you need to start dealing with this NOW.

If nothing else, READ. There are plenty of books on the subject. I highly recommend Once A Warrior Always A Warrior, by Charles Hoge.

Your wife will have a difficult time understanding this problem. But, let her know that you're working on it. There are sites for her too, and reading material.

Take care my Brother, and stay in touch.

SD

 

[Chin Strapped]

That was like reading about part of my life! I hate university for the crowds, but quite like studying. Mixed bag is school.

Sweating, hmmm...What is your diet like?

That little sleep, will get most of us worked up. Your meds may not help either with the sweating.

Anyway Welcome mate. As SD said, have a good read up. Just remember to get 'outside' of your head here and there, take a break. One of the guys on here (Sarg) said that to me a while ago, May sound simple but it helped me greatly. Can easily get wrapped up in the beast.

 

[reddevil1111]

The way to cope is to focus on why your stressing around crowds of people. There is an event you have had that makes you feel this way. I would bet its tied to something that happened during your employment. Maybe serving with the Afgans? Only you know what it is. Once you can understand the reasons for your emotional reaction then you can move forward in fixing it. you need therapy to help you figure this out. its a long drawn out process. And its the way you can get ahold of the problem. Medication might help reduce the effects but its only a crutch to help you to figure out how to start to fix things.
I agree it sounds like you have PTSD. Start reading and getting info under your belt. The more you understand about whats going on the better you can learn to react about it. All of this takes a lot of time and effort. Good luck.

 

[JTP]

Thanks everyone. Jimmy, I did see bodies and I was around a lot of rocket fire. I spent 6 months in COC, and that was mostly receiving fire missions and doing casevacs. The next 6 months was with a partnered ANA team, where we trained a lot of the afghan soldiers. We never got in heavy combat like some of my buddies, but we saw a few things. I think part of it is that I feel very guilty that I didn't experience some of the heavy combat like my friends did who were a few clicks south of me.

 

[Chin Strapped]

I never trusted the ANA mate. That just adds to the head f*ck. Their SF were about normal expected standard. Off their heads all of them.

I was out there at the same time. Where abouts were you?

 

[Sarg]

One thing we need to address is something I call "reality on the ground". The environment we were in and the training we received prior to that deployment. If a mortar dropped into the "green zone" and didn't harm much it was no big deal. You drop that same mortar on Waco Texas, you got an entire state of Texans, heavily armed, guarding the Texas border all the way round by nightfall.

When folks say they didn't see that much action, which kind of action? Waco or Green Zone? I know folks might think I'm concocting a way for phonys to step through but think about it. The crew chiefs used to point out the small arms holes in our bird when we brought it back. It was like "Oh, and here's another over here". No big deal. I can guarantee shit would hit the fan if the 245 from Atlanta had bullet holes in her.

Perspective that only we can have. When you're standing in hell, it's not polite to point out that it's warm.

Sarg

 

[Jimmy1]

Your right on the money there Sarg.

Josh, there is one major adjustment you will have to make before you can ever think about managing the 'Beast' we call PTSD. You have to acknowledge that you don't have to be in a heavy firefight to have PTSD. I can go on an quote the DSM (Psych Bible), but I won't. Check out these links:

Link Removed
Link Removed
Link Removed
Link Removed

Link Removed

It will all make a lot more sense once you do. Get rid of the guilt mate. It can chew you up.

 

[JTP]

Dan, I spent most the time at Shorabak and Leatherneck, but I went down to dywer, payne, and fiddler's green (previously fob thunder) for a bit. I was part of 2meb.
I thought things weren't bad until the past few months, so I'm working on getting into the VA. I called about 10 people today, but I kept getting passed around and I still have no appointment set up. Everyone kept telling me that I had to talk to someone else. Anyone know an easy way to get things done?

 

[JTP]

Is PTSD attached to a single event? I felt very dettached throughout the deployment and it's hard to remember the whole thing. When I think about it, I can't remember any single events that seemed traumatic. I remember a few bad days. Most of the time, I just feel like I'm prepared for the worst. Scanning the rooms, checking doors and windows. It just feels like my brain and body is in overdrive, even when I'm trying to relax. When I read about the beast, it sounds like people recall single events or a chain of events.