Need Some Help/advice

[tnkg1rl]

It can be one event or many events. Really it depends on your situation, in my case it's a bunch of crap from earlier on in life. I've learned that you can only push it back so far until the flood gates open

 

[Jimmy1]

Josh, sometimes people don't remember things for years. When I put my claim in for PTSD they said that my symptoms started years earlier after I went to East Timor, well I had no memories of anything real harsh. I eventually asked my Sergeant Major and he wrote Stat Dec from his diary. When I read it, it all came flooding back.

There are stories around of people from the Vietnam era (really old people) who are only just remembering things now.

It's possible you had PTSD prior to your last deployment. It's like a virus and survives well in the military so it's possible to serve with it, why, because when your serving you are devoid of emotions, your not allowed to smile, everything is uniform, etc. Most people don't come crashing down until either after they have discharged or if they have a real long period of zero activity.

It's hard to explain, but what your talking about is possible. Just wait till you spend some time with a really good therapist, they will get those evil memories out.

 

[Chin Strapped]

Dan, I spent most the time at Shorabak and Leatherneck, but I went down to dywer, payne, and fiddler's green (previously fob thunder)

I know of leatherneck and shorabak, some of our medics were attached there too, with the ANA. Fiddler's green, sounds like a Boozer! Almost certain it wasn't though.

I was around FOB Nolay, down the road from US base; FOB Rob (pretty sure that's what it's called).

 

[Sleeping Dragon]

Josh,

As a Vietnam Vet., one of the (really old people), I can tell you that there are parts of my time in combat that are a complete blank. Others are as clear as if they happened a few minutes ago. I don't know which ones caused my PTSD, and it really doesn't mater.

My therapist took me back to one particular episode only because it was a place to begin the process. That process lasted several months. But, what I learned from it became part of my daily life.

I've gone to other forms of therapy, and they also added to what I do each and every day. You are starting your journey back home. It will be a long one. But, each and every "baby step" brings you closer to a better place.

Until you find professional help read about post traumatic stress, visit here often and talk with us, and give yourself the time you need. When things go wrong don't beat yourself up. What doesn't work today may make all the difference tomorrow. Try to stay in the present. You can't change the past, and the future is a moving target that's out of range..

SD

 

[Fargo1]

Is PTSD attached to a single event? I felt very dettached throughout the deployment and it's hard to remember the whole thing. When I think about it, I can't remember any single events that seemed traumatic. I remember a few bad days. Most of the time, I just feel like I'm prepared for the worst. Scanning the rooms, checking doors and windows. It just feels like my brain and body is in overdrive, even when I'm trying to relax. When I read about the beast, it sounds like people recall single events or a chain of events.

Hey Joshua and welcome brother.

This summer I was watching a documentary about the Korean War (UN Police Action) and it was following several of the men who fought at the Battle of Chosin Reservoir and it really hit on the Post part of PTSD. One of these guys came back from the war and his wife didn't think he had been in combat, she told him that he was exactly the same as he had been prior to leaving. He didn't have any noticeable effects for nearly forty years until one day.... He was asked by a friend to do a lecture at the local Rotary Club (or some such) about the Korean War as nobody really knew much about it. The guy said "Sure." Then that weekend he sat down to start writing his lecture and he started crying, and in his words "I haven't stopped crying for ten years."

The point is this; The Beast can hit you at any time AFTER the event. The sooner one gets help, the better. But during the help, you find an awful tangled mess. It could be that it was one event. That event could have been back when you were but a wee lad. But as all things in life, and particularly with soldiers who have a propensity to experience many such events, it is more likely many events that don't seem like there were THAT bad. But they were.

Remember that there are at least three definitions of Trauma (from Webster's)

1. A serious injury or shock to the body, as from violence or an accident.
2. An emotional wound or shock that creates substantial, lasting damage to the psychological development of a person, often leading to neurosis.
3. An event or situation that causes great distress and disruption.

Which is why you don't have to be in a cave with a rock fighting some other guy with a rock... Or to paraphrase my therapist (trying to use layman terms on me), you have been in a situation that caused your body to go into the fight/flight response and your amygdala determined that whatever it was needed to be stored in long term memory. Your mind uses that memory to try to insure that you never are in that situation again. The amygdala is very good at its job. Sometimes too good. Which is why you are here, seeing me.

 

[JTP]

So I saw my civilian dr earlier today. She increased my zoloft prescription since it hasn't helped with any symptoms. I asked her if she thinks I might have ptsd but she said no since I don't have any flashbacks... She says it may be some other kind of anxiety. I'm still trying to arrange an appt with the VA since they have much more experience with this. My current dr is just a general dr, so I can't blame her. I just finished school for the semester, so now I can actually relax for a few weeks before it starts up. Hopefully the increased dosage will help. Anyone have experience with taking zoloft? My main concern now is the heavy sweating that happens throughout the day. She gave me prescription antiperspirant but it didn't help. I'm in a few classes where I have to work with patients, so it is very embarassing and very counterproductive to be sweating. I'm hopefully going to find the courage to talk to my professor over the break to let her know what is going on. I feel that may help.

 

[Sarg]

Joshua,

Don't be intimidated by professors. They're just the same as you or I but they have a chunk of paper in a frame on the wall. Just meet with him, tell him you're a disabled Veteran and have this problem. The one's I dealt with were thankful to be let in on what's going on. And it speaks volumes about your determination to learn from him and have interest in what he has to say.

I had a class once with a girl that had no arms. She would slip off her shoes and take notes with her toes. It really humbles you when you see someone really disabled, overcome it and motor on. It was an inspiration to fight my beast all the harder.

Adapt to survive.

Sarg

 

[Spock]

...

Perspective that only we can have. When you're standing in hell, it's not polite to point out that it's warm.

Sarg

Nice! borrowing...

 

[Spock]

Welcome Joshua: this is a good start, you should try to learn more about PTSD than your docs, give you wife a voice & watch the video Jimmy shared with her, maybe introduce her to your doc or do one visit together. There is something called "delayed onset" but there are no rules to this beast. It took me 5 years to figure out what I had but as I reflected back I was starting to show symptoms while I was still in combat. Stay safe, stay strong...

 

[Ned]

Evening Josh

 

[vikingr12]

I took Zoloft and had the most incredible hallucinations. I saw firefights on the ceiling when I tried to sleep. I kid you not. But I admit I did see more than I should have at a young age, no brag. Sleeping Dragon is right on about how nightmares appear out of nowhere that you have long forgotten. Scary.

All I can say is try and go with the flow for a while. I personally don't think SSRI's (which is the family of Zoloft drugs) really do any good for PTSD. They might help with some of the depression but talk therapy works best, and with someone (like us frankly) that has been there. You cannot talk to a civilian about this stuff. You have a tendency to keep them innocent and why not?

Sleep is the great healer. Wish I knew how to do it.

 

[steve1]

The crew chiefs used to point out the small arms holes in our bird when we brought it back. It was like "Oh, and here's another over here". No big deal. I can guarantee shit would hit the fan if the 245 from Atlanta had bullet holes in her.Sarg

That brings a smile to my face when I remember flying in Kashmir for the UN. We used to count the bullet holes, then go get drunk.