Need Support

[Bloomy]

Ok so I broke something again. A plate this time.
Must be the fourth time this week.
Realise that Im on the verge of explosion. Realise that this is not good.

Ive stopped self harm some time ago, but seeing al this nice glass on the floor makes it so so tempting to just slize a little bit to see if I have any feelings of pain at all.

What ticked me of this time is an all time slow pc that refuses to cooperate and does anything else then what I want it to do and in so it totally waist my time.
It can be anything do that stretches my limit of tolerance or patience.

Housemate moves out 13 of december. Have to hold firm until then. Meaning it makes me extra stressed to not be able to recover alone in my house.

Not sure if I need advice, support, something that lightens up the gloom or what.

I dont have any glasses left soon and if I start to break plates to I have nothing to eat on either.

 

[Gs172003]

Read the thread I wrote about my anger. Hopefully it will help.

 

[shimmerz]

Maybe time to retire the plates and glasses and use plastic. No muss, no fuss.

 

[Ronin]

if I have any feelings of pain at all.

If you do, no reason to test it out, as you'll be hurting.
If you don't, it's a pointless exercise, as you'll be hurt even when not feeling it, and it's a waste of your time.

So what else were you up to doing? Because a test of pain like this is unnecessary.

 

[Fadeaway]

I don't know if you have anything like them where you are at, but in the states we have a DollarTree store. every thing is $1 and they sell the champagne glasses for weddings 6 for $1. They are glass like but in reality plastic. The give the satisfaction of the sound of smashing glass, but shards won't cut you. I break them on occasion for stress relief but they won't do much for SH. maybe you could find something like that there?

 

[Bloomy]

Haha like the idea of replacing with something that gives the pleasure but not the pain - thanks guys.

Ronin - I went to the gym. Got out in time.

Zoogal - Ill read your post.

Meanwhile Ive figured out that its severe depression caused by being unemployed = days are to long and meaningsless + being uemployed gives bad economi = gives stress and worries = Bloomy crashes totally.

I also thought that I need to get out early in the morning before I go down the drain and do things and feel things I should not.
Can go to the gym and atleast getting fit while im in the mess I am at the current moment.

I also need to regain control of things.


How Exercise Can Help Your Career | Get Promoted - The Zone

 

[pixel]

Hi @Bloomy

Just want you to know I'm on your support wagon :tup:

 

[Gs172003]

Take up bread baking. My mom would say that beating the dough was therapeutic to her.

 

[Gs172003]

Haha like the idea of replacing with something that gives the pleasure but not the pain - thanks guys....

Bloomy I get it. My last day of my season was Wed. My job is the only place I feel cared for. The director shook my hand and said " you're coming back, right? " I dont get treated like that anywhere else. ( honestly I don't know why they like me so much) I've made barely over minimum wage for 14 years just because they make me feel safe and wanted there. Well.... And I'm scared to go anywhere else.

 

[Bloomy]

@pixel awww tusen takk :happy: A little bit embarresed of myself :bag: But I do understand where I come from :ninja:

@Zoogal I do make bread actually. Done that for some years. But Ive found it much more helpful to go to gym like I did now and beat up my muscles instead :rolleyes:

 

[Bloomy]

@Zoogal I can understand why you stay despite the pay. Im not liked in my work so despite earning decent I feel shitty about the job. Well - I only have a contract that I have job, but they are so shitty they dont ask me to work.

Job is important I belive. I know Ive been quite content when I worked as trainer despite like you being minimum paid. What is your job?

 

[Gs172003]

@pixel awww tusen takk :happy: A little bit embarresed of myself :bag: But I do unde...

Bloomy I agree with the gym. And hiking. My job consists of walking all day outside. It's awesome.