So today has been an okay day. I kept busy with some things but my anxiety has been up for some reason. And not in the usual way...
Usually, I'm nervous about more specific things such as...being around people, someone not liking me, saying the wrong thing, looking fat, etc. But today I've been really nervous about normal things that I do. Like, calling someone or texting someone, getting something to eat from the kitchen, playing with my dog, taking a shower, etc. I don't know what it is that makes me nervous about these things but I just have been.
Tomorrow morning is my high school graduation rehearsal. I'm so excited to finally be graduating high school! Yes, I'm late to be doing it...but I'm proud that I got the courage to go back after dropping out, going through all this struggle to be completing my courses online through adult high school but still connected to my old high school, etc. It feels so great! But at the same time, I'm terrified of going. I'm going to be around people I don't know, in an unfamiliar place and it is very early in the morning.
Because I usually work night shifts, this will be brutal...I will get about 3 hours of sleep. Lets hope the coffee kicks in!
Its funny...I think what I'm most nervous about is the lack of sleep I'll be running on. But at the same time it makes sense...
When I was in high school a few years ago, I wouldn't be able to sleep. I would be laying awake in bed hour after hour through out the night because I kept telling myself "Its late. I have to be up at this time. I need to get to sleep!" And because of that pressure, I wouldn't sleep and I would be exhausted to the point where my mind and body would shut down.
I'm going to be going through that again tonight... So I'm going to go have a couple drinks with a good friend of mine, hopefully that will help me relax a little bit...
Fingers crossed!!
Usually, I'm nervous about more specific things such as...being around people, someone not liking me, saying the wrong thing, looking fat, etc. But today I've been really nervous about normal things that I do. Like, calling someone or texting someone, getting something to eat from the kitchen, playing with my dog, taking a shower, etc. I don't know what it is that makes me nervous about these things but I just have been.
Tomorrow morning is my high school graduation rehearsal. I'm so excited to finally be graduating high school! Yes, I'm late to be doing it...but I'm proud that I got the courage to go back after dropping out, going through all this struggle to be completing my courses online through adult high school but still connected to my old high school, etc. It feels so great! But at the same time, I'm terrified of going. I'm going to be around people I don't know, in an unfamiliar place and it is very early in the morning.
Because I usually work night shifts, this will be brutal...I will get about 3 hours of sleep. Lets hope the coffee kicks in!
Its funny...I think what I'm most nervous about is the lack of sleep I'll be running on. But at the same time it makes sense...
When I was in high school a few years ago, I wouldn't be able to sleep. I would be laying awake in bed hour after hour through out the night because I kept telling myself "Its late. I have to be up at this time. I need to get to sleep!" And because of that pressure, I wouldn't sleep and I would be exhausted to the point where my mind and body would shut down.
I'm going to be going through that again tonight... So I'm going to go have a couple drinks with a good friend of mine, hopefully that will help me relax a little bit...
Fingers crossed!!
