Other Neurodivergent vs neurotypical

[silverlinings1069]

I just learned that ADHD falls under the umbrella neurodivergent. I have been diagnosed as ADHD (along with all my other acronyms). None of my therapists have used this term (neurodivergent) for me. So I have read a few things last night about it but... do you have any suggestions as to books, sites, therapists, etc. (resources - sorry it took me a minute to think of the word).

What is your experience with ptsd and being neurodivergent? How do you deal/cope with neurotypicals? or do you? Thank you for any suggests/posts.

 

[arfie]

i started kindergarten in 1959 as, "retarded." i was nearing adolescence before i could speak well enough to hold a conversation, though i could already read and write at a college level. "neurodivergent" is only the latest of the new, improved monikers i have heard for my condition in the decades since, as are the many monikers i've heard for side effects of having received my childhood conditioning in kiddie whorehouses.

how do i cope with neurotypicals and/or neurodivergents who don't understand me?

small steps, big faith and lots of prayer.
let god lead the dance.

 

[Rose White]

I don’t understand the usefulness of that term. It seems to me that everyone has a unique brain. Just like everyone is an individual. Is it the same as saying “has a diagnosis”?

 

[barefoot]

I don’t understand the usefulness of that term. It seems to me that everyone has a unique brain. Just like everyone is an individual. Is it the same as saying “has a diagnosis”?

Yes, of course everyone is unique.

But Neurodivergent is just an umbrella term for people who have ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia etc - people whose brain differences/wiring affects the way their brain works.

It doesn’t mean everyone else (‘neurotypicals’) are exactly the same as each other. Just that there are some key common differences in the wirings of people with ADHD or autism etc and people who don’t.

The usefulness of the term is the same as the usefulness of any term/label/diagnosis…ADHD, ND, PTSD, depression, IBS…it will be more meaningful and helpful for some and not at all for others.

I personally like to know what I’m dealing with, and like to research and try to understand…so, for me, ND, ADHD, PTSD…they have been useful diagnostic terms that have helped me to understand myself better and helped me navigate myself/my life. And to receive helpful treatment where appropriate.

 

[barefoot]

@silverlinings1069 - there are quite a few active members here who are ND (ADHD, on the autistic spectrum, dyslexic and so on) and several posts about it if you want to do a search.

I had a late ADHD diagnosis this year so I’m still learning what that really means for me. In terms of what thoughts/behaviours/symptoms are connected to PTSD and what are connected to ADHD (plus, I am in perimenopause too - there are so many cross over symptoms with these three areas) I haven’t really worked that out yet. Don’t know whether I will. Not sure if it ultimately matters much. But it does muddy the water somewhat, in my experience.

 

[No More]

You can all come for me if you want.

I think the term ‘neuro - divergent’ lost all meaning the minute it was picked up as the latest TikTok badge for self diagnosed people to over identify with.

I don’t think of myself or my friend for example who has crippling ADHD as typical or divergent. Everyone’s brain works in a slightly different way, and I just take each person as they come.

Perhaps if there’s a specific symptom troubling you could look for info pieces in dealing with that particular problem. Since neurodivergent is such a massive umbrella term it now seems to encompass everything from what used to be someone who would have been known as just a little socially awkward to someone who needs two carers full time just to live safely.

 

[barefoot]

Also, just to add: for me personally the term neurodivergent isn’t that helpful for reflecting on myself. Because, it’s so broad and encompasses numerous conditions (I know not everyone will like me referring to them as conditions - no offence meant, I’m not sure what the best term is?!)

So, if I am ND because I have ADHD, and someone else is ND because they are on the autism spectrum…or has dyscalculia or dyslexia or dyspraxia, or because they have Tourette’s… etc… there is A LOT of diversity there. Some of which will apply to and resonate with me…a lot of which won’t.

Even with ADHD, there is huge diversity in symptoms, experiences, impact on life etc.

So, for me, if I’m wanting to learn more/understand things better, I tend to look for ADHD resources…I don’t think I’ve looked at any general ND resources as I think it will be so broad that I want to narrow the focus a bit.

For ADHD resources, I quite like the Additude website. I’ve read a couple of decent books. I’ve found a couple of Facebook groups really helpful.

I think it depends a bit on what you’re after.
Is there a particular challenge/symptom/behaviour you’re looking to find out about, understand, or get help with?

 

[Charbella]

Neurodivergent is NOT a diagnosis, it’s a buzz word. Yes the wiring is different but so is everyone’s. The way a person makes connections is based on their life experience, and we all have different experiences.

I have ADHD, saying I’m neurodivergent might as well mean I’ve diagnosed myself. Plus it seems like people are grouping all those diagnoses together and they are vastly different and they all exist on a spectrum. Plus the way that we all deal with the diagnosis is different. Some people find the diagnosis explains the things they’ve wondered about forever and embrace it and others think it’s the worst thing ever.

For me the book Driven to Distraction was helpful.

 

[silverlinings1069]

small steps, big faith and lots of prayer.
let god lead the dance.

I hear that. Thank you for the response as always. I appreciate your insight.

 

[Rose White]

How do you deal/cope with neurotypicals?

This is an interesting question to me. Because it implies that you are able to accurately tell if someone is NT/ND and then use that information to decide how to deal/cope with them. Which seems like extra work, and if you’re wrong about whether they are NT/ND do you then change how you deal/cope with them?

It seems to me that there’s an assumption that if people are ND then they are sort of “safe” and if they are NT then they are sort of “scary”. But I think that might set you up to being vulnerable to abuse. This is kind of like the thread asking how do you deal with narcissists and the overwhelming response was “don’t diagnose people, and just develop your boundaries so that you react to people’s behaviors toward you regardless of what label or diagnosis they or others might provide.”

 

[silverlinings1069]

I don’t understand the usefulness of that term. It seems to me that everyone has a unique brain. Just like everyone is an individual. Is it the same as saying “has a diagnosis”?

That is a great question. My entire life I have termed people "stupid" that could not keep up with my brain. That sounds harsh but I had no other term but stupid because that is how they seemed to me. My brain is just too fast. I can now call them neurotypical rather than stupid. (Such a relief actually.) I now understand than my brain works very differently from "normal" or neurotypical (NT) brains. NT's do not typically understand me. At all. And it has been very frustrating because I did not know how to relate, or how to explain myself. I now have terms that let me express myself in a way that is more understandable. And it is easier for me to relate to NT's now. I hope this helps. Thank you for your question.

I personally like to know what I’m dealing with, and like to research and try to understand…so, for me, ND, ADHD, PTSD…they have been useful diagnostic terms that have helped me to understand myself better and helped me navigate myself/my life. And to receive helpful treatment where appropriate.

Yes!! I like to know as well. My brain needs to understanding. It is just how I am.

I had a late ADHD diagnosis this year so I’m still learning what that really means for me. In terms of what thoughts/behaviours/symptoms are connected to PTSD and what are connected to ADHD (plus, I am in perimenopause too - there are so many cross over symptoms with these three areas)

I am in the same boat. All of the above. I am so overwhelmed right now but my mind wants to figure it out so...here I am. lol Perimenopause is enough on its own...whew.

This is an interesting question to me. Because it implies that you are able to accurately tell if someone is NT/ND and then use that information to decide how to deal/cope with them. Which seems like extra work, and if you’re wrong about whether they are NT/ND do you then change how you deal/cope with them?

It seems to me that there’s an assumption that if people are ND then they are sort of “safe” and if they are NT then they are sort of “scary”. But I think that might set you up to being vulnerable to abuse. This is kind of like the thread asking how do you deal with narcissists and the overwhelming response was “don’t diagnose people, and just develop your boundaries so that you react to people’s behaviors toward you regardless of what label or diagnosis they or others might provide.”

I wondered that myself but I have found I relate to people with autism much more than other people. People with autism are very blunt (as am I), they see the facts and what is (as do I) and honesty is easy (I do not "sugarcoat" things). Every relationship is different. Every person is different. I will always watch out for myself but the level of intellectual conversation is different. It is hard to describe. My therapist would be able to a much better job. lol

 

[Friday]

I don’t understand the usefulness of that term

It’s like understanding the term ‘Petite’, or ‘Big&Tall’; it let’s you know which part of the store, and which stores full stop, to shop in to find clothes that fit. Or to know that the clothes one buys will need to be altered, in major/minor ways, in order to make them fit. Most people won’t find any use for the word, because they fit in regular clothes. Even if they alter the occasional piece? They don’t have to alter every single piece of clothing they buy, whilst people outside of the normal range? Do. Or shop in speciality sections, or have them bespoke.