New And Lost

[tiredsoul]

I am 35 and feeling very lost. My mother contacted me in November since then I have slowly declined. Now it is hard for me to verbalize my feelings, having issues finding treatment for PTSD. My therapist referred me to one place that deals with PTSD but they can't see me now. He wants me to go to a day program, but i can't go there. The risk of seeing a family member; it's in the area that i have family and my dad is a client there on and off.

I just don't know what to do. I am not functioning, and have a four year old daughter. I disocciate so can't drive more than to the drug store. Everything seems unreal, and i just feel sick, feel like i am floating feeling, but nothing to hold on to.

I am tired of asking for help. I try to change my thinking, but the memories come up and knowing my family took away the one person who ever loved me. I just want to be with him, but have a little girl.

Sorry I am starting to ramble.

~Tiredsoul

 

[Clydiechick]

Hi

Welcome to the forum. I hope you find some comfort and support here. It sounds like you really need some help right away. Do you have anyone that can drive you further?

You need to function better for your daughter. She would not understand what is going on with you and maybe very scared. Is is possible to move away from your family to save the risk of contact?

Please look after yourself.
Clydiechick

 

[tiredsoul]

Clydiechick,
Yes, my hubby and I have considered it, but finances are tight now. I think after this last attempt my family will no longer bother with me. I made it quite clear, but I am worried about my daughter and my lack of functioning. Isn't there a place for me to go for help that knows how to deal with PTSD? My case is very complicated. I was treated in my teens for bipolar when abuse was going on, so the local psych hospital would trigger a lot of stuff....

~tiredsoul

 

[Llama]

Well if therapy isn't an option currently due to wait list, there are some decent self-help books out there. The Body Remembers by Babette Rothschild isn't self-help but it's an amazing book to help understand what is happening to our bodies and minds. The PTSD workbook is one that I have, and very closely mirrors the kinds of things my therapist works with me on. It is by Mary Beth Williams and Soili Poijula. There are therapists that specialize in PTSD and Trauma, and it might not be a bad idea to see if there is one close to your area that you can work with.

To be honest I've found it quite difficult to find a 'place' that specializes in PTSD or even a support group in my area, which pretty much includes all of Alberta Canada. There are likely quite a few places that specialize in abuse and childhood abuse you can check out. The local Sexual Assault center would have information about that and it is usually available online.