Sufferer New And Terrible At Introductions

[Nicca]

Hello. I'm new here. I'm trying to keep anonymous, so I won't post my real name, but you can call me Catherine. I'm in my early twenties, living in the US.

In 2014 I was subjected to abuse by several people, and was going to attempt suicide on Easter Sunday. After four months of severe depression, suicidal ideation, and multiple meltdowns, I was carted off to an institution. At the emergency room i was taken to prior to institutionalization, I was also mistreated- thrown around by staff, manipulated, given drugs I wasn't supposed to have, etc. Because of this and my ongoing aforementioned abuse, I began to suspect in early 2015 that I had PTSD. I was officially diagnosed, and also have a diagnosis of mild psychosis. I am also autistic, and suffer depression and anxiety disorder.

I live in a very small, rural area, and I do not have a great deal of help with my PTSD. Any services here are for veterans. In absolute desperation I've turned here, hoping to find some who are understanding and can lend me their advice.

I'm unsure how active I'll be on here. Unlike my autism, I'm not very proud of having PTSD. I wish I didn't. I'm also very shy and can be socially awkward due to my autism.

I look forward to talking to you, and I hope I can get the help I so desperately need, and that perhaps I can help others.

 

[Lucycat]

Hi and Welcome to the forum @Nicca
I hope you find the information on here helpful and the people supportive - I know I have!
Regards, Lucy x

 

[Nicca]

Hi and Welcome to the forum @Nicca
I hope you find the information on here helpful an...

Thank you. It's nice to meet you.

 

[Thehalflingninja]

I'm so sorry for the way you were mistreated in the institution and for the hurt you've suffered from abuse. I know it's difficult, but having PTSD is nothing to be ashamed of. Many hurtful and unsupportive people will have us think it's shameful and weak but it's not. You are not alone here. Thank you for posting and I hope to see you more around this place. You are so strong.

 

[Sandstone]

Welcome. I think your introduction is good - it tells us a lot about you in a few paragraphs.

Are you getting support with your other conditions?

 

[Nicca]

I'm so sorry for the way you were mistreated in the institution and for the hurt you've suffere...

I wasn't mistreated at the institution (though they changed my anxiety meds and my parents' request... I was bedridden for seven weeks because I was so dizzy). But the ER was terrible. I can't even think about hospitals without losing it.
I know I'm not weak... I shouldn't have survived what I did. I know I'm strong. I just was it would end and I would finally overcome everything.

Welcome. I think your introduction is good - it tells us a lot about you in a few paragraphs.

Are you getting support with your other conditions?

I am. My medications are working, I see my doctor. I'm changing therapists soon but in all my other things I do pretty well. Though bad days with PTSD can lead to depression, like today.

 

[Anarchy]

Hi Nicca
Welcome to the forum.

@

 

[ladee]

Welcome @Nicca. You did awesome with your introduction. And we are all socially awkward sometimes. I think that is part of being human as opposed to something being 'wrong' with us. I also live in a rural area and do not have access to much help. So being here has helped me tremendously. Just happy you are here. You are not alone.

 

[intothelight]

@Nicca Welcome! :)