I'm really glad to read this - having an advocate is a helpful thing.
Before the visit, you and your husband should try and sit down and talk through the timeline of your current symptoms; when things started getting very bad. You may find that there's more of a straight line towards being diagnosed for major depressive disorder, which can be a way to accelerate getting short-term disability leave, especially if you are currently employed and have access to FMLA. The rapid weight loss you are describing is a significant symptom, as is being unable to sleep through the night, and the weepiness as well.
When you're talking through symptoms with your husband, try and stay focused on the 'what', more than 'why'. I think sometimes we end up believing that it's more important to emphasize why we think we feel the way we do, when in fact - the information that will let the doctor get to the 'why' is totally contained by the facts of what is happening. Oh, I have no idea if I'm making this followable...But from a clinical reporting perspective: one example would be, the fact that you recognize your stress response as mirroring how you felt during the abuse? That's not actually important right now. What's important is that you are having uncontrollable reactions to stress, which include shaking, crying, being easily startled, etc.
I'm not saying that you should avoid talking about the abuse. Just that the symptoms - the physical and emotional things you experience - those are essential. And it's easy to end up glossing over them, especially when we have only just made the connection that they all connect to trauma. ALSO - it sounds like you're experiencing delayed-onset PTSD, which can add an extra layer of complication. It's a real thing, legitimate diagnosis - but I'm not sure all general practice doctors are aware of that.
You might try searching around the forum for other threads on talking to doctors and describing symptoms. Also, please feel free to start a new thread in a sub-forum (just use general if you're not sure where to go), to ask more questions about communicating and managing symptoms while seeking more formal medical support.