New here, please help

[JennNotJen]

Hi everyone. I am dealing with pretty severe panic attacks surrounded by constant anxiety about being sexually and physically abused by my father and children in my neighborhood as a child. I am having trouble eating because i feel sick all the time and am worried about my health. I am not sleeping the best either. Anyone else experience this? I just dont want to feel so alone.

 

[candletea19]

Although from a different trauma, I experience a lot of what you do as well. It is quite common, from what I've heard and read here.

If you haven't, you should definitely see a doctor, or some other sort of medical professional, and discuss what you're dealing with. If you need some help (therapy, medication, etc), it's best to get it as soon as possible, to get you on the right road.
I know it's not easy to admit when you're feeling like this, or feeling vulnerable or anything, but I do urge you to speak to someone.

I'm glad you've found this site. People here are lovely, and are so helpful. I come here often just to chat. Not to mention the advice and such people can give is great. Knowing there are other people in similar boats as you can really help.

I hope you find some ease from this site, and don't be afraid to ask questions if you have any!

 

[JennNotJen]

Thank you for your reply. My doctor knows a lot of what is going on. I am medicated and see a therapist once a week. The problem is is that the trauma of the abuse was bottled for so long and now it is bubbling out. I think this is because I was weaning off medication to have children. As soon as it was out of my system I started feeling these emotions. My father was an alcoholic and very abusive to my mother and to me. He would tell me he loved me and then hit me. I'm sorry if that's too blunt. I have trouble trusting my own perceptions of the world because of the confusing way he treated me. It all got so real and so in my face so fast and I'm realizing that I never truly dealt with any of it properly so I feel like im grasping at straws to keep myself afloat.

 

[candletea19]

Thank you for your reply. My doctor knows a lot of what is going on. I am medicated and see a therap...

I'm glad you are reaching out here, as well as your doctor and therapist. Are they aware of the abuse? If you are seeing them for other reasons, you may not be getting the help you need to deal with how the abuse has affected you.
I am sorry for what you went through, I can't imagine the pain that sort of situation leaves on someone. This is definitely a great place to be and ask questions. I have seen other posts from other members who seem to have gone through something similar to your situation, so perhaps some of them may comment here with more insight directly related to that.

But don't worry. Based on what you've said here, all those are quite common symptoms of PTSD and such. I have major depressive, PTSD and anxiety and panic disorder, and experience much of what you described often. I am also working with my doctor, therapist, as well as in the midst of trying to find the right dose of medication for me. That's my route of treatment, though, it may not be yours!