Hi all,
I wanted to finally introduce myself after lurking for almost a year now. I have been to scared to write. For some reason I have gained some courage this morning and here I am.
Who I am......... Okay, here is the short version..........I have been dealing with PTSD for over a year and a half now, all related to numerous rapes, beatings and a kidnapping I went through when I was using drugs and in prison,. No, I wasn't brought up with any abuse, in a bad neighborhood, or in a single parent home. I was raised with great parents, in Malibu, California and in great schools. The abuse I speak of happened near the end of my use. I have been sober over 14 years, and my life has changed dramatically! PTSD has robbed me of my lifeI had made for myself. I no longer work, or enjoy anything because I can't leave my house alone. I had to give up my home and move back in with my parents, just last June. I just stopped paying rent on my apartment in Santa Monica, CA. in December.. Which meant moving 500 miles away from my life.
The anxiety, panic, and fear I undergo on a daily basis have taken over my daily pleasures, sleep, and mind. It has turned everything inside out. I have been on numerous medications, see many therapist, and tried many holistic approaches all to no avail. The side effects from some of the medications have done everything from lose my hair to gain weight. I am off all of the medications since nothing seems to help. Although, most of the therapist say I can not even start to process some of the things I have been through till I have become more stabilized. That's where I am at the moment, stuck in the house most of the time. I do get out when I leave with my parents, it's just an anxiety ridden day~
I also recently got a service dog, that has been fantastic! The best thing is as soon as I start to have a nightmare she, Gracie, wakes me up! So sleep has become much better since I am not so afraid to go to sleep!!!
:hello:
I wanted to finally introduce myself after lurking for almost a year now. I have been to scared to write. For some reason I have gained some courage this morning and here I am.
Who I am......... Okay, here is the short version..........I have been dealing with PTSD for over a year and a half now, all related to numerous rapes, beatings and a kidnapping I went through when I was using drugs and in prison,. No, I wasn't brought up with any abuse, in a bad neighborhood, or in a single parent home. I was raised with great parents, in Malibu, California and in great schools. The abuse I speak of happened near the end of my use. I have been sober over 14 years, and my life has changed dramatically! PTSD has robbed me of my lifeI had made for myself. I no longer work, or enjoy anything because I can't leave my house alone. I had to give up my home and move back in with my parents, just last June. I just stopped paying rent on my apartment in Santa Monica, CA. in December.. Which meant moving 500 miles away from my life.
The anxiety, panic, and fear I undergo on a daily basis have taken over my daily pleasures, sleep, and mind. It has turned everything inside out. I have been on numerous medications, see many therapist, and tried many holistic approaches all to no avail. The side effects from some of the medications have done everything from lose my hair to gain weight. I am off all of the medications since nothing seems to help. Although, most of the therapist say I can not even start to process some of the things I have been through till I have become more stabilized. That's where I am at the moment, stuck in the house most of the time. I do get out when I leave with my parents, it's just an anxiety ridden day~
I also recently got a service dog, that has been fantastic! The best thing is as soon as I start to have a nightmare she, Gracie, wakes me up! So sleep has become much better since I am not so afraid to go to sleep!!!
:hello:
