Sufferer New Here, Searching For Hope

[Northgirl]

Hi all, I am new to this forum but came upon it as I look to get help for PTSD. I have been in therapy for over 2 years related to CSA, depression, and anxiety and have recently been recommended for EMDR which has sent me on a fact-finding mission so I know what I'm embarking on. I struggle with flashbacks occasionally but struggle to live with the shame and guilt that comes along with a history of abuse and negative feelings held towards myself. One thing that I feel is extremely isolating is living with the fact that my abuser is a sibling I struggle to have a relationship with despite our past. I hope this journey leads me and those of you I am interacting with to a life of hope and moving on.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Welcome to the forum @Northgirl

You will find warmth and comfort in this forum.

I too am a CSA Survivor and survivor from sibling abuses. It is the hardest part of recovery to face one's siblings or inter-family abusers and be able to look at them as nothing more than an abuser.

EMDR is a very effective yet powerful therapy and I would advise lots of research and discussion with you therapist BEFORE you embark on even that first proper session. I did not and went into EMDR effectivelly blind, my T tried to warn me and I convinved him I knew what to espect when I honestly did't. It opened up times from my childhood I had kept secret for very good reasons, they TERRIFIED me.

I was lucky and survived barely but as I now continue my personal journey through recovery I am very mindful of making mistakes and I look at all new challenges with open eyes and caution.

I wishb you health, safety and success in you personal journey with PTSD.

HUGE :hug:s from one survivor to another.

Laurence

 

[WillyKat]

Welcome to the forum! I'm a CSA survivor too, not by a sibling, but a neighbor. For me at the moment, the bigger part of my recovery is dealing with the anger that no one in my family, no one at school ever attempted to protect me. Well, my story in a nutshell.

You'll find lots of support here and resources too. Check out the Media tab and other parts too. There's reading material to help you understand, and inspirational material as well.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Welcome to this place that has been so healing to me and I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me. You are very brave to go to therapy and deal with the insane past and sort though and get better. Hugs.

 

[Notsowild]

Welcome to the forum. I am a CSA survivor too. My abuser was my father. Shame and guilt is something I still struggle with too. If you go to "the vault" on here there is an article on it plus many others. Glad to have you here.

 

[Seasounds]

It makes it a good day that you are here. Me to, a CSA survivor. I'm still in process of healing. I can say that persistant personal attention to my healing, has brought increased freedom in all arenas. I wish the same, along with new friends on this forum, to you. Peace.

 

[macbeth]

Hi and welcome to the forum :)

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome. :)

 

[intothelight]

Hi @Northgirl

Welcome to the forum!

This site has a lot of information about EMDR and I hope you find it helpful.

Debbie

 

[Northgirl]

Thank you all! I feel very supported and haven't had much of an opportunity to explore the site but hope to learn more before I meet with my therapist next week to discuss how to go forward. I feel very lucky to at least have a great T that keeps me stable.