Sufferer New Here: Survivor [27,f] Of Emotional Childhood Abuse

[forgottensore]

Hi everyone!

I'm a 27-year old woman who has dealt with depressive episodes, low self-esteem, anxiety and struggles in her interpersonal (especially romantic) relationships most of her life. Growing up with a possibly manic-depressive, narcissistic and schizophrenic (until today undiagnosed) single mother until adolescence I had the feeling that memories and issues stemming from my childhood hold me back in my adult time for a long time, but I just recently took the courage to challenge these problems through therapy.

I'm very happy to have found this forum and have already been a vivid reader of your own stories and experiences with PTSD. I'm looking forward to share more on here in the future and wish you all the best on your current journey! Read and write to you soon!

 

[heyheyhey]

Welcome :)!! Congrats on entering therapy, really hope it goes well for you :)!

 

[VikVikViktorious]

Well, a warm welcome to you! You seem to have such a positive attitude despite what you've been through. That is quite commendable!

When I first joined, I was frantically writing paragraphs upon paragraphs, begging people for answers.

Keep it up

 

[forgottensore]

Thanks for your kind words @heyheyhey and @VikVikViktorious and for the warm welcome!

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Welcome! There are many fine compassionate people here to converse with.

Best wishes to you, as you work this all out.

Ben

 

[Magdalena]

Hi everyone!

I'm a 27-year old woman who has dealt with depressive episodes, low self-esteem, a...

So happy you are reaching out and connecting with those of us who understand. Wishing you a journey now filled with hope, as you are not alone anymore. Welcome :)

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome! :)

 

[forgottensore]

Thank you for your friendly welcome on here as well, @EveHarrington @Magdalena and Ben! It's so great to see all of you writing here so vividly on the forum. I indeed feel so much less alone already

 

[joeylittle]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

Growing up with a possibly manic-depressive, narcissistic and schizophrenic (until today undiagnosed) single mother until adolescence I had the feeling that memories and issues stemming from my childhood hold me back in my adult time for a long time, but I just recently took the courage to challenge these problems through therapy.

I'm curious - have you been diagnosed with PTSD, specifically? I am asking only because there are a number of different mental-health scenarios that can emerge from having a difficult, troubling childhood - and it's always important to have a handle on where the main issues are rooted.

If you have PTSD, that would require a trauma of a certain kind, known as Criterion A trauma. Multiple childhood traumas are sometimes approached differently than a single, 'stand-out' trauma; they can also create diagnoses other than PTSD. And sometimes people have a single, more overt trauma, but then understand their response to it in context of their childhoods, which may or may not be the best course of action...depending.

At the end of it all, you're just looking for the right treatment plan; having the correct diagnosis helps. I hope this doesn't appear to be challenging you in a negative way, as it's not my intention.

 

[forgottensore]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.
I'm curious - have you been diagnosed with PTSD, specifically? I am...

Hi @joeylittle ! No, I don't know the diagnosis of my condition. I have been starting a CBT / EMDR based therapy with a T after an initial assessment a short while ago. As I wanted to find out more about the technique and the prognosis of EMDR, and as many of the members on this board already shared their experiences with this kind of therapy on here, I again and again came back to this forum through my google search.
Reading through the threads I found many stories that I could relate to which made feel relieved to not be alone with emotions that felt "out of context" to me for a long time. This is why I am here. I didn't even think about if my diagnosis on my T's spreadsheet really carries the title "PTSD" or not up until now.

Do you think there are any other things / conditions that I should have a look into? Not as a means of self-diagnosis, but something to discuss with my T next time.

 

[joeylittle]

Thanks for replying, @forgottensore.

My best advice would be to make sure you talk about how your specific symptoms are showing up in your daily life, and to not try and make them 'fit' PTSD. For example, someone could be having problems with anxiety. It's pretty typical to have anxiety as a PTSD symptom; so, if PTSD is the lens they are using, they might not report any more detail about it. But if, say, the anxiety happens for a few intense days every two weeks and is accompanied by insomnia and online gambling - it might be tied to PTSD, or it could be an indicator of bipolar disorder.

That's a sloppy example, but it's one way that confirmation bias can influence how we talk to our doctors, and how they listen to us. It's really hard in mental health, because they can't just run is through some empirical tests and give us a diagnosis; we need to report our experience, our symptoms, as fully as we can.

CBT is never a bad place to start. EMDR can be helpful for traumatic memories, no matter what type. And getting help because you want and need help is always, always a good thing.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

I agree with JoeyLittle. And, as he said, CBT is a great place to start.

Try to be patient - it's hard, especially when starting out in therapy, I know - as it can take a bit of time to solidify a diagnosis.

Ben