New Here - Unexpected Family Visit

[Reclusive]

So far day 1 was actually pretty good! There was some small talk of politics (my fam and I don't agree) but I was able to steer away to another topic in a reasonable amount of time. My bro brought his collection of movies with him so we watched one of those and just hung out. It was really nice. He mentioned wanting to go out today, though, so I don't know how that's going to work out. I'm just hoping I can grab another hour or so of sleep. I was SO exhausted last night!

 

[KP the nut]

That is so good, I'm happy it started well and well done on steering to a comfortable topic.

When my lot were here just after New Year, I sent them off (it is easier if you have dogs) with my H, saying I needed to rest and they supported that.

Love
KP

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Hooray, Reclusive!

I hope day 2 goes even better!
Thinking of you, and hoping you have energy, and even fun and joy today...
Love,
Deer

 

[Reclusive]

Day 2 only lasted a couple hours as my bro is going to another town to visit my other brother. I'm pretty tired, though, even after that short visit. I was always responsible for my brother, so it's hard to remind myself that I'm not responsible anymore and that he can take care of himself. Same thing with my dad, who I heard is doing pretty badly right now. I used to be the one that took care of everything in the family but I know if I try to keep doing that I'll burn out really fast.

 

[KP the nut]

You survived. You deserve a huge reward, pamper yourself, relax and chill.

It doesn't sound as if it was as bad as you thought it would be, which is often the way.

I was always responsible

It is hard to stop feeling responsible but there is a saying here 'they are big enough and ugly enough to take care of themselves'

. I don't know the ugly part, where it came from but basically there is a time to let them stand alone.

Enjoy your reward
KP

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Hooray, Reclusive!

Good going, you made it!

A really nice side-benefit is that we're meeting you, and you know what? You're pretty wonderful!
I sure hope you'll stick with us!

Hoping you get a well-earned rest, and reward as KP suggests :)
Congratulations, Hon!
Love,
Deer

 

[Reclusive]

Thank you so much you guys - just having your support helps SO much! I'm resting now, but I should probably work later (I get to set my own hours) but I don't know if I'll feel up to it. The not being responsible thing is going to be a tough one!

Thanks so much!

 

[Srain]

Wow, you did great! :)

 

[chasing_absolution]

Other than my Mom I freak out when I know someone is coming to my house. Surprise knocks on the door set me off balance completely. I won't answer the door then. My boyfriend gets really mad at me about this. he doesn't understnad and I CANNOT explain it as I do not understand it myself. On bad days I shake when the phone rings and won't answer it. All of which he doesn't understand, and either do I. I just CAN'T. I don't leave my house very often..a couple of times a month. I send my boyfriend to buy what I want or make him come with me. I only go out alone to my Mom's and sister's houses and always use the drive though when buying coffee on the way.
My Mom calls me eccentric...lol..yeah let's go with that. I don't want anyone at my house, what if they think I don't keep a clean enough house? what if the judge what I own? I don't even want my kids friends to come over. I grit my teeth and bear it when I have to and cannot wait for it to be over and the people gone. Even at Christmas I discourage visitors. I will tell people the kids are sick and we have germs to keep them away, and those people are family as I have no friends.
The only way I feel comfortable talking to people I know is through the computer. I too am a recluse. I hate it but that is how it has to be for now.

 

[Reclusive]

I am so the same way! When people knock at the door, or even leave stuff on the knob, it totally freaks me out. My fiance is the same about the phone as I am, so we tell people ahead of time that we don't answer the phone, to leave a message and we'll call them back. Unfortunately, my fiance doesn't drive so I get to do all the errands, but I try to take him whenever I can.

For me it's a matter of just not wanting people in my space. I feel totally invaded when people come over and it takes a long time to recover. My fiance's dad makes it a habit of stopping by at random and I hate it so much! I just hide in the bedroom until he leaves and spend the rest of the day trying to pull myself back together. It's pretty rough. We don't have any friends, either, so that makes it a little easier on keeping people away.

 

[chasing_absolution]

For me it's more than just not wanting them in my space..I can't explain it. Panic at the thought of a stranger in my house. even when my kids are home I sometimes won't let them anser the door. If we are all upstairs I will whisper Shhhhh someones at the door and we don't know who it is....they always ask why don't you answer the door Mommy?...I want to cry with shame at what I could be doing to my kids with this kind of behaviour. That my BS could be screwing them up...I try so hard to mask it but this is one thing that they do see because of my absolute fear of people coming to my house. Sad huh?

 

[Reclusive]

Aw, chasing! That's horrible! I have no way of telling who is at my door, so everytime someone knocks I totally freak out (unless they contacted me ahead of time). I totally empathize with you - no one comes over, and we don't answer the phone. Are you in therapy at all?