gealach
Diamond Member
Hi all,
I'm new here, and not really sure where this will lead, but hopefully some place supportive and healing.
I should probably place a warning on the rest of this introduction.
I'm an EMT, and the job seems to have broken my brain. Also, I lost 2 platoon members to suicide within 3 months of each other, one of them was my work partner.
I struggled to get help for years, while my employer fought (and is still fighting) to deny there's a problem within our ranks. We actually just had another suicide, so clearly there's absolutely nothing wrong with our collective mental health and resiliency in EMS (oh sarcasm!).
When things were at their worst, I stopped eating (lost 50lbs & my hair fell out); wasn't sleeping for days at a time; had serious road rage (normally I'm a marshmallow); and would lock myself in the bathroom at work for 10.5 hours. I did the latter for over 8 months before a supervisor finally decided this might be a problem. My co-workers treated me like I had something contagious, and called me ''IT''.
I was eventually sent to a psychiatrist that stated he doesn't "believe in ptsd''. How wonderful!!!!
Someone else finally got involved, right about the time I decided to look for my own way out. I'm now on LTD, and am not sure if/when/how I'll be able to return to my career. I'm not actually sure that I want to. I'm still trying to figure out how to return to ME.
Enough of the sad stuff.... puppies, kittens, and chocolate!!!!! ;)
I'm new here, and not really sure where this will lead, but hopefully some place supportive and healing.
I should probably place a warning on the rest of this introduction.
I'm an EMT, and the job seems to have broken my brain. Also, I lost 2 platoon members to suicide within 3 months of each other, one of them was my work partner.
I struggled to get help for years, while my employer fought (and is still fighting) to deny there's a problem within our ranks. We actually just had another suicide, so clearly there's absolutely nothing wrong with our collective mental health and resiliency in EMS (oh sarcasm!).
When things were at their worst, I stopped eating (lost 50lbs & my hair fell out); wasn't sleeping for days at a time; had serious road rage (normally I'm a marshmallow); and would lock myself in the bathroom at work for 10.5 hours. I did the latter for over 8 months before a supervisor finally decided this might be a problem. My co-workers treated me like I had something contagious, and called me ''IT''.
I was eventually sent to a psychiatrist that stated he doesn't "believe in ptsd''. How wonderful!!!!
Someone else finally got involved, right about the time I decided to look for my own way out. I'm now on LTD, and am not sure if/when/how I'll be able to return to my career. I'm not actually sure that I want to. I'm still trying to figure out how to return to ME.
Enough of the sad stuff.... puppies, kittens, and chocolate!!!!! ;)
