New Member Intro

[SupportinVA]

Thank you for the response Simon. Her traumas are multiple and varied and unfortunately all of them caused by a family member. I am going to be able to speak privately with her therapist, as she told me today she is going to release the therapist to speak with me about her situation so hopefully I can better understand. When I have that conversation I plan on asking her about the different therapies and let her and her doctor make the decision. Again thank you and I may have more questions for you in the future.

 

[amethist]

Hi Simon

Thanks for the reply. You did not offend me with the broken comment, just me and my defensive mechanism kicking in. I should be the one to apologise for saying what I did.

I do agree they can be fixed, but more like remodeled.

Luckily my husband has a good therapist, but because of limited NHS funding, he has only about 9 more sessions left. My husband is still along way of being remodeled, and could do with a lot more sessions.

Glad you are here though as at least we can maybe pick your brains for more info when members on here get stuck.

Amethist

 

[Simon]

Thank you for the response Simon. Her traumas are multiple and varied and unfortunately all of them caused by a family member. I am going to be able to speak privately with her therapist, as she told me today she is going to release the therapist to speak with me about her situation so hopefully I can better understand. When I have that conversation I plan on asking her about the different therapies and let her and her doctor make the decision. Again thank you and I may have more questions for you in the future.

Anytime. I wish you both well. And remember, if there is likely to be 'stuff' disclosed to you about someone you love, ensure you take steps to protect yourself from any secondary trauma. Let me know how you get on.

 

[Simon]

Hi Simon

Thanks for the reply. You did not offend me with the broken comment, just me and my defensive mechanism kicking in. I should be the one to apologise for saying what I did.

I do agree they can be fixed, but more like remodeled.

Luckily my husband has a good therapist, but because of limited NHS funding, he has only about 9 more sessions left. My husband is still along way of being remodeled, and could do with a lot more sessions.

Glad you are here though as at least we can maybe pick your brains for more info when members on here get stuck.

Amethist

Hey, no need to apologise at all. Anyway, I think remodelling is an excellent word because the true and original ingredients are still there and still exist but may come out in a different order that's all. That original 'blueprint' is still there though despite everythng and I think that's an important thing for people suffering to keep a hold of.

I'm sorry that you husband has a long way to go but at least he's been brave enough to get on the road (and you too). Regarding sessions, you didn't say what treatment he was having (CBT perhaps) but I was wondering about EMDR. Successful treatment can be acheived in fewer sessions than conventional CBT's for some patients. Did you consider this one with your therapist? The dilemma I know for NHS therapists is leaving a patient with unfinished business when the sessions run out.

Let me know if I can help.

Regards and best to you both.

 

[amethist]

Hi Simon

My husband has had 1 EMDR session, unfortunately he had a bad reaction to it which took him a while to get over. He was supposed to have another 1 last Friday but, he had what he calls a bad wobble ( medium crisis to me ), so we had to cancel the appointment. His therapist has said it may not be the right thing for him, only time will tell.

He does have a support worker who comes to see him weekly, to help with his agoraphobia. I am having to have a meeting with her this week as she is pushing too fast, so I am going to tell her to slow it down. She does not know much about ptsd so this is where the problem lies. The last time she came she brought leaflets about day centers to help him, these will be of help well into the future,but not now as it takes him all his time to even open the door some days and cannot as yet travel anywhere far from home on his own.

I am so used to all this now that it part of daily life for us, I go to work he stays at home doing the best he can. Which sometimes is not a lot.


The one thing I do know is that he trusts me totally with everything he cannot now do. but it is like looking after a scared child some days. Bonfire night is going to be fun, all the bangs and loud noises could make life interesting for a few hours lol.

Thanks for being here.

Amethist

 

[Simon]

For Amethist

It sounds to me like you are doing a great job in supporting him. I do hope you are finding ways to support yourself though. Are you?

Sorry to hear the EMDR didn't go well. Without knowing the ins and outs it's difficult to say more. Unfortunately it will also depend on the quality of the person delivering the treatment - and I'm not having a go at your therapist here.

Do you know of a book called Living With Fear by Isaac Marks? It's a self help book for people suffering from phobia's and OCD in particular. It posits differently from someone doing just say, EMDR (I believe what works, works, doesn't matter what! People will respond to different stimuli). Definitely can help with agarophobia. I run a group that uses this model where the only two rules are that firstly the person attending must WANT to get better and secondly that they do the homework they are set each week. You husband just might be interested in having a read of that - or you could read it together. Improvement in one area can be a great trigger for success in others. You can get that book on Amazon for about 7 pounds and there a two specific chapters around self help and they have a very high success rate.