New Member - PTSD from Robbery and Assault

[Still Trying]

I continue to be amazed at how hard it is for me to actually talk (write) about this to anyone since it's all I can think about most of the time.

I'm 40 years old and live in the western United States. Three years ago I was attacked while leaving my house for work early in the morning. My attacker dragged me back into my house and robbed and groped me. The police believe it was a druggie desperate for cash as he only took my money and jewelry and never even looked around the house. The attack was hard, but the follow-up reactions have caused most of my ongoing anxiety and interpersonal issues. I have always been overly concerned with figuring out the "right" way to do or say things, but that is now a huge source of anxiety for me. I continue to work as a secondary teacher with several extracurricular responsibilities, but the higher the stress, the worse the anxiety, which causes more stress, and the cycle ends with an emotional meltdown.

I'm seeing a psychologist who has helped be me immensely, but I have a terrible time reaching out for help in a stress cycle. My family, friends, and acquaintances see me as this terribly strong, competent person, and on the rare occasion I reach out to them I either scare them or I feel they dismiss me. So here I am, at my psychologist's suggestion. We're both hoping I will find it easier and more successful to reach out here for support. I've been lurking on the site for awhile, and I have already learned so much.

I'm not ready to give up yet, but some days, even weeks, it is so hard for me to imagine life continuing like this for the rest of my life. I'm still trying, though, and hopefully this will be another step in this journey.

 

[Tinyflame]

Welcome Still, :hello:

I do believe you will find ample support here and tons of great information.

I, too, have always found asking for help one of THE most difficult parts, including trusting and accepting myself and having faith in my decisions.

It can and will improve.
Peace to you.

 

[patrick]

Hi Still Trying,

Keep trying! It's all any of us can do. If you've been reading posts, you probably know that just about anything can be said on this forum and it will be accepted and understood and somebody will offer some support or encouragement. I've pretty much lived my life as the strong one who never needs anything from anybody. I'm afraid to even ask most of the people I know for understanding, or even to tell them what's going on. I've tried a couple of times and the result has been a little disappointing. That could be just my faulty perception of their reaction. I don't know.

Say anything you want here. Somebody will listen and offer their encouragement.

Pat

 

[Michele Rosenthal]

Still -- All of your trying will bring results. For almost 20 years after my trauma I couldn't talk about it -- and then through talk therapy I was able to make progress. And then through cognitive behavior and information processing therapy I was able to make more progress. And then through hypnotherapy I was able to be cured. After over 25 years of chronic/extreme PTSD I am now into my second year of PTSD-free living. So, I can tell you it can be done! It's a victory by inches. Have faith in yourself, and know that while the untraumatized world may not understand or appreciate how you're reacting, the rest of us here will and do. You are not alone. That's the most important thing to remember.

 

[Luthien]

Hi StillTrying,

Welcome to the forum. I hope you find what you're looking for here.
I don't know if you've looked at the Diaries section, or considered starting one, but they are very helpful, and talking it all out, even if it's just on here and with your psychologist is very important.

Good luck in healing.

 

[Still Trying]

Thank you to everyone for the encouragement. Just lurking on the forum has been good for me, but it's wonderful to start to feel like a part of it.

 

[midi]

Hey welcome! This place will help you out a lot. Glad you found it.

I used to teach too, until an attempted gang bang, led by one of my own students. Since that night, I've not been back to the traditional classroom and never will.

It's never too late, you know (to reach out). It's great you're getting help. Try to take it one day at a time. There's another lifer teacher on here, and she can really help you out, I'm sure!

 

[kaydee]

can you explain what you mean by your faulty perception