Butterfly16
New Here
Hi everyone, I have joined the forums today as to be honest I don’t really know what to think or do anymore, I spent my whole time in almost constant fight or flight mode, on guard, highly anxious 24/7, obsessional/ocd type thinking, and an extreme sensitivity to stress. I’m tired.
I haven’t been diagnosed formally but a therapist did say it sounds very much like C-PTSD. I don’t have a specific trauma, it’s more of a multitude of stressful traumas gathered together over a long period of time (psychological abuse and the sudden loss of my father). I have an intense fear of death, and even watching the news about someone who has died in a bad way will trigger me.
Anyway, I was hoping someone could help me with this relatively new symptom that I’m having. It’s been happening for a few months now and is getting A LOT worse to the point where I think I might have something neurological going on. Basically I’ve developed an extreme startle response. But everything I google about it just says it only happens with loud sounds. Mine happens even with the tiniest level of sound! Basically any sudden sound, regardless of volume. I will be sitting there in the evenings watching tv or on my phone (apart from the tv being on everything is completely quiet) and suddenly my partner will do something like click his toe!
Now… whilst I don’t like jump up or jolt or anything, my nervous system is obviously picking up this sudden sound as every time it causes an intense adrenalin type surge / rush in my chest / body (can’t really describe the feeling; it’s like a weird rush I guess). Sometimes my heart will react too and start racing.
Obviously when there’s more background noise going on (for example; like when I’m cooking or doing some kind of activity) I don’t even notice every slight sound or get this response at all…! It ONLY seems to happen at rest when things are quieter, and more often at night time, but can happen in the day too, as long as it’s quiet or I’m not doing anything. OR MAYBE… it is happening still but I’m just not noticing it as I’m doing stuff??
Now … the reason why I’m reaching out to you all now is because a few months ago this started happening during SLEEP!!! And it’s getting worse! So for example…. if i’m asleep and my partner is laying next to me awake reading/on his phone, he tells me that he will suddenly sniff/cough/clear his throat/move suddenly, but just as he does so I will suddenly sit bolt up upright in total fear, heart racing, shaking, etc. It doesn’t happen every time he does it, but it is becoming more & more frequent (more so when under stress I suppose?). This has been happening for a few months now.
Does this sound like something neurological seeing as it is also happening when I’m asleep & therefore NOT aware of the sounds? surely I can’t be this hypervigilant whilst sleeping??!!
Does anyone know why my nervous system is so sensitive to such SLIGHT stimuli? Ive tried Googling but cannot find anything similar, everyone just seems to say they jump/startle/jolt to LOUD sounds. That’s the strange thing, I don’t actually jump up/startle (I will however do this if someone,say, knocks my door hard or someone walks up behind me) but the sudden slight sounds are clearly doing something to cause my body / nervous system to react like this right ? Just to add, sometimes I don’t even get anxiety when I hear the unexpected small noises, it’s just this weird body reaction/rush.
Has anybody got an explanation for this or even better if anyone gets the exact same thing please can you let me know? I’m literally terrified right now. I cry every day in fear that I’m either going to die or have a complete stress breakdown :(
I’m really sorry to vent at you all, I just didn’t know where to turn, I have nobody who understands and I really really need help. I can’t go on like this anymore. I live my whole life in constant fear and anxiety and I am so so tired of it.
Thank you for listening
Butterfly16
U.K
I haven’t been diagnosed formally but a therapist did say it sounds very much like C-PTSD. I don’t have a specific trauma, it’s more of a multitude of stressful traumas gathered together over a long period of time (psychological abuse and the sudden loss of my father). I have an intense fear of death, and even watching the news about someone who has died in a bad way will trigger me.
Anyway, I was hoping someone could help me with this relatively new symptom that I’m having. It’s been happening for a few months now and is getting A LOT worse to the point where I think I might have something neurological going on. Basically I’ve developed an extreme startle response. But everything I google about it just says it only happens with loud sounds. Mine happens even with the tiniest level of sound! Basically any sudden sound, regardless of volume. I will be sitting there in the evenings watching tv or on my phone (apart from the tv being on everything is completely quiet) and suddenly my partner will do something like click his toe!
Now… whilst I don’t like jump up or jolt or anything, my nervous system is obviously picking up this sudden sound as every time it causes an intense adrenalin type surge / rush in my chest / body (can’t really describe the feeling; it’s like a weird rush I guess). Sometimes my heart will react too and start racing.
Obviously when there’s more background noise going on (for example; like when I’m cooking or doing some kind of activity) I don’t even notice every slight sound or get this response at all…! It ONLY seems to happen at rest when things are quieter, and more often at night time, but can happen in the day too, as long as it’s quiet or I’m not doing anything. OR MAYBE… it is happening still but I’m just not noticing it as I’m doing stuff??
Now … the reason why I’m reaching out to you all now is because a few months ago this started happening during SLEEP!!! And it’s getting worse! So for example…. if i’m asleep and my partner is laying next to me awake reading/on his phone, he tells me that he will suddenly sniff/cough/clear his throat/move suddenly, but just as he does so I will suddenly sit bolt up upright in total fear, heart racing, shaking, etc. It doesn’t happen every time he does it, but it is becoming more & more frequent (more so when under stress I suppose?). This has been happening for a few months now.
Does this sound like something neurological seeing as it is also happening when I’m asleep & therefore NOT aware of the sounds? surely I can’t be this hypervigilant whilst sleeping??!!
Does anyone know why my nervous system is so sensitive to such SLIGHT stimuli? Ive tried Googling but cannot find anything similar, everyone just seems to say they jump/startle/jolt to LOUD sounds. That’s the strange thing, I don’t actually jump up/startle (I will however do this if someone,say, knocks my door hard or someone walks up behind me) but the sudden slight sounds are clearly doing something to cause my body / nervous system to react like this right ? Just to add, sometimes I don’t even get anxiety when I hear the unexpected small noises, it’s just this weird body reaction/rush.
Has anybody got an explanation for this or even better if anyone gets the exact same thing please can you let me know? I’m literally terrified right now. I cry every day in fear that I’m either going to die or have a complete stress breakdown :(
I’m really sorry to vent at you all, I just didn’t know where to turn, I have nobody who understands and I really really need help. I can’t go on like this anymore. I live my whole life in constant fear and anxiety and I am so so tired of it.
Thank you for listening
Butterfly16
U.K