New Member

[Shay62]

Hello, I have PTSD. I am happy to find somewhere to get some help and help others if I can.

 

[Sandra]

Welcome to the forum. Lots of good people on the forum and lots of good posts to read through.

 

[CraftyCath]

Hi Shay62 and welcome to the forum. it's a very safe place to be yourself, share, learn and have a laugh.:laugh:

 

[Sandra]

Yea we have good laughs in here too, especially the past few days. ;)

<It is not necessary to quote the post above your reply Sandra. Thanks Amethist>

 

[Shay62]

Well let me tell y'all about why I'm seeking help. I had complex PTSD for a long time but was diagnosed in 2000. I was clean and sober for 10 years and fell in Dec. 1998. I been clean since about 80% of the time. I am clean and sober now for 11 months hoping to make a year in Nov. I don't want to ever drink or drug again but I have always felt like that and relapse anyway. I can't work now because of my PTSD. Before my ptsd got really bad I worked and loved it but had problems with co workers on my job - unfortunately I understand going POSTAL. I don't think I would do that though. My job was the only outlet I had in my life. When I got fired for no fault of my own I was devastated.

I feel like I have kick me on my back for most of my life. I don't have nightmares but am very jumpy. I don't go anywhere and am scared of meeting new men because of my traumatic experiences, rapes, beatings, stalking, almost killed. But when I drink or drug the fear goes (some). I am more social. And I call myself having some fun, but end up feeling more like a loser. Financially I'm stable, I am a disabled vet.

I feel like I'm in jail without any bars. Sober I isolate. I don't trust people much (for good reason, I feel). But I don't have a life. I don't have any friends to go out with. I just watch tv most of the time. Watching the Michael Jackson's death trial, I decided I better try harder to help myself before I end dead myself. I know everyone dies but I don't want to die because of getting high. I want to enjoy my life - whatevers left of it. No I don't go to AA meetings. I do have a counselor and psych doctor. Can anyone relate and/or help me?

 

[intothelight]

Hi Shay,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum. Yes, the majority of us can relate to what you are feeling and experiencing. That was the one thing that struck me about the forum, the fact that I was no longer alone and could communicate with people that really understood.

This site has great information for just about anything PTSD related that you could think of. But personally, I believe the best part of the site is the support members give each other as we work on healing.

Take care.
Debbie

 

[AngelaMarie]

Welcome to the forum!! Wishing you the best!!!:)