New On Here, Don't Know What I Should Do.

[Tazertot]

I am new on here, I remember a few weeks ago i was reading on these forums and It gave me a lot of hope to see other people being able to open up and help people on here.

my basic background is that I've been dealing with sexual and verbal /mental abuse on and off for most of my life. I was also stalked during college and had to drop out because my school wouldn't do anything about it. I've been trying to recover mostly on my own but there are unresolved issues with my family I'm unsure I'm ever going to be able to figure out... and I feel like the abuse patterns broke into my relationships and I kept choosing people who took advantage of me being fragile and scared. two years have passed where I've been exercising and finding new work and improving my life, and now I'm in a great new relationship but its hard because I'm not sure how to move on healthily, I'm afraid for my boyfriend to meet my dad. . . or to let anyone too close to my hurt places. But I've been healing and I've been able to handle the triggers when they come up and I know that I am safe when I'm with my boyfriend and he is so gentle and caring and I try to return those things to him. I'm just trying to figure out why i still get so sad and scared some times when I think about it lasting long term.

 

[tillybee]

Welcome!! :)

 

[Meadowsweet]

It sounds like you've done well to find support and come this far yourself. Are you in, or would you consider therapy for the next part of your healing?

 

[Laurie McLaughlin]

It definitely sounds like you are heading in the right direction and asking the right questions. From my side, worrying about the future and not being present in the moment is what helps perpetuate my PTSD. A theatre director I used to work with always said "Don't suffer future pain" I have found staying in the moment helps keep my fears from arising. Hope you find peace. Laurie

 

[Jamey]

@Laurie McLaughlin

Thank you for that quote... it makes a lot of sense and rings true with my situation. I will remember it.

..."Don't suffer future pain"...

@Tazertot

From what you've written, it sounds like you're on the correct and healthy path. Keep confronting and facing your issues; control them before they control you. It sounds easier said than done, but by taking every preventative action you can (i.e., professional help and other supportive help) you'll stay one step ahead of the major issues in your life. As for your concern about things lasting long-term... I am unsure. My PTSD has lasted (since diagnosed) for over 4 years; it comes and goes... gets extremely bad and gets better in a "cycle" or pattern. All I've been able to due is live and treat it day-to-day. I hope that helps and thanks for sharing.