Relationship New Relationship With A Combat Vet!

[Sighs]

The only person you can set boundaries for is you. You cannot control another person's behaviour. So, setting a boundary does not look like "If you hit me I will leave you" - instead it looks like "if he hits me I must leave". You should clearly communicate your boundaries but you they are your boundaries not anyone else's.

 

[Justmehere]

It's not healthy for *him* to try to date right now, no matter how much he wants it or how perfect you are.

I hope you set the boundary of having no dating relationship with him and seek counseling for yourself.

I think that what is going on here is not just about what is going on with him. I think you need to look at what is going on with you.you indicated that you have abandonment issues, probably from some serious abandonment in the past. Now you have picked to stay with a man who chronically abandons you quite severely. I am concerned that you're trying to sub-consciously resolve the past abandonment through these new ongoing continued abandonments. I highly suggest you consider seeking out therapy for yourself. I think you need to look at the reasons why you stay. There are things going on with you in this relationship. It's not all just about him. It's time to focus on you.

Therapy is a great place to learn how to set boundaries and have them be well received.