I just joined the forum today! I'm a sufferer of SAI-Trauma and am very isolated. I've lost most of my friends due to my current situation and don't have any type of support group. I've been in and out of all types of counseling, tried trauma therapy twice (which just about killed me) and am starting to feel pretty hopeless that I will ever be myself again. I would like to be happy in my life one day, but don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm 49 years old and really hoping I can relate to people on the site and have some hope return to my life. Any words of wisdom for me? I'll gladly listen to any thoughts or suggestions from those who have gone through or are going fhrough what I am dealing with today.
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Sufferer New/ Sai-trauma
- Post starter Ostrak
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EveHarrington
VIP Member
Welcome! :hug:
Friday
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Taking SAI = Sex Addiction Induced ? ((If I'm wrong there, please correct me!))
Treating the wrong disorder is one of those gut wrenching tragedies that take years from people's lives, especially when the best treatment for one disorder is the absolute worst treatment for another disorder. Which is extremely common. Whether one is talking meds or therapies.
All disorders share symptoms, which can make diagnosis difficult; further compounded by comorbid disorders; and physiological causes that either aren't ruled out first, or are misinterpreted.
If you've been coming at infidelity or effects of sex addiction like its a CritA trauma? I am so, so sorry :( And no wonder you've been banging your ahead against a wall. While any current stressor can trigger PTSD that's been lurking from CritA trauma in the past? Without that trauma history in your past the treatments and protocols for PTSD have been undoubtedly making life much worse for you, and so so much harder than they've needed to be.
I'd really strongly recommend you either start from 'go' with a really good diagnostician if you suspect you may have a disorder that is making the infidelity/betrayal/addiction hit you harder than it does most people / what is more normally typical in that situation (and I can think of a few dozen which could make things range from impossible to pure hell) ... And do the physical/ few thousand question tests/ complete history/ get the right diagnosis so you can get the help you need & deserve for the problems you have... Or if you think it's just the events themselves without a disorder making everything worse, link up with some of the support networks that help people through those very specific life changes. Again, I am so sorry that whomever you first turned to set you on a path which is so deeply unhelpful for what you've needed.
A few things which might help reading:
Abusing the Term Trauma
PTSD Definition, Symptoms, Risk, Cause and Treatment
Treating the wrong disorder is one of those gut wrenching tragedies that take years from people's lives, especially when the best treatment for one disorder is the absolute worst treatment for another disorder. Which is extremely common. Whether one is talking meds or therapies.
All disorders share symptoms, which can make diagnosis difficult; further compounded by comorbid disorders; and physiological causes that either aren't ruled out first, or are misinterpreted.
If you've been coming at infidelity or effects of sex addiction like its a CritA trauma? I am so, so sorry :( And no wonder you've been banging your ahead against a wall. While any current stressor can trigger PTSD that's been lurking from CritA trauma in the past? Without that trauma history in your past the treatments and protocols for PTSD have been undoubtedly making life much worse for you, and so so much harder than they've needed to be.
I'd really strongly recommend you either start from 'go' with a really good diagnostician if you suspect you may have a disorder that is making the infidelity/betrayal/addiction hit you harder than it does most people / what is more normally typical in that situation (and I can think of a few dozen which could make things range from impossible to pure hell) ... And do the physical/ few thousand question tests/ complete history/ get the right diagnosis so you can get the help you need & deserve for the problems you have... Or if you think it's just the events themselves without a disorder making everything worse, link up with some of the support networks that help people through those very specific life changes. Again, I am so sorry that whomever you first turned to set you on a path which is so deeply unhelpful for what you've needed.
A few things which might help reading:
Abusing the Term Trauma
PTSD Definition, Symptoms, Risk, Cause and Treatment
amosmorris
Silver Member
Having grown up in a home with a sexually compulsive/addictive father, I have a unique perspective and do understand firsthand the deep capacity for trauma in such an environment. It's about far more than infidelity or pornography, but rather about participation in a system of consuming, exploitative sexual behaviors and constant deception (and the deception is, at least in the case of my home life, just an act, as everyone in the family was immersed in the behaviors in various ways--so it was more about just not saying anything/keeping a "fake" secret).
I wish you much healing. I do think it's important to work with a therapist who is attuned to this particular context.
There are additional resources online that validate and address directly this issue (including a useful Pysch Central blog that for some reason I'm not able to hyperlink here).
I wish you much healing. I do think it's important to work with a therapist who is attuned to this particular context.
There are additional resources online that validate and address directly this issue (including a useful Pysch Central blog that for some reason I'm not able to hyperlink here).
Pixielicious
Gold Member
Hello, don't really know what to say because this is all new to me.
But I can say that this site saved my life.
Nuff said.
But I can say that this site saved my life.
Nuff said.
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SAI-Trauma is basically PTSD brought on by the trauma associated with my husband being diagnosed a sex addict back in 2012.
Little background on my situation. My husband and I have been married 21 years. I'm 49 and he is 45, we have two sons 16 and 20.
What attracted me to my husband was his mind. I met him right after his 21st bday and to this day I think he is one of the smartest people I've ever met. So while he was very intelligent, he never seemed very "smart". He was sort of my 3rd child a majority of our marriage. He didn't really actively participate with me or our children. He spent a ton of time doing things he wanted to do such as hobbies, hanging with his guy friends and spending a ton of time with his dad and brother doing outdoor type stuff. That, or he worked and then would have these work dinners that started happening,
In 2012 I was tired of being married and alone, so I approached him with a "something has to change" conversation the quickly turned after I caught him having an inappropriate friendship (that's what he called it) with a woman from his work located in another city (
Little background on my situation. My husband and I have been married 21 years. I'm 49 and he is 45, we have two sons 16 and 20.
What attracted me to my husband was his mind. I met him right after his 21st bday and to this day I think he is one of the smartest people I've ever met. So while he was very intelligent, he never seemed very "smart". He was sort of my 3rd child a majority of our marriage. He didn't really actively participate with me or our children. He spent a ton of time doing things he wanted to do such as hobbies, hanging with his guy friends and spending a ton of time with his dad and brother doing outdoor type stuff. That, or he worked and then would have these work dinners that started happening,
In 2012 I was tired of being married and alone, so I approached him with a "something has to change" conversation the quickly turned after I caught him having an inappropriate friendship (that's what he called it) with a woman from his work located in another city (
Friday
Sponsor
Basically PTSD, isn't PTSD.
It's like Spanish & Italian are both Latin languages, but if you're in the Italian 101 class, you're not going to learn Spanish!
As a mom... Can you imagine your 16yo being brutally raped and murdered in front of you? I know. Stuff of nightmares. But really imagine it for a second. Imagine what you might be going through afterward. Then compare what you imagine you would go through if someone raped and killed your baby in front of you with what you're going through now. Can you see how there might be a difference?
When you're talking PTSD, you're talking that level of trauma. Rape. Children being raped. Sex-trafficking. Kidnapping. Torture (actual torture; car batteries, gang rape, parts of your body cut off or burned off, drowning, beaten, broken, frozen, boiled, flayed, starved). Sudden, violent, brutal death. Natural disaster. Domestic Violence. Child abuse and neglect. War.
***
I mentioned it above, but just want to underscore it, again. If you have one of those ^^^ in your history? You could very well have PTSD. Because anything, no matter how seemingly minor, can trigger PTSD later. But that won't be what caused the PTSD / is not the kind of trauma that can cause PTSD. Do you have Criterion A trauma in your history?
It's like Spanish & Italian are both Latin languages, but if you're in the Italian 101 class, you're not going to learn Spanish!
As a mom... Can you imagine your 16yo being brutally raped and murdered in front of you? I know. Stuff of nightmares. But really imagine it for a second. Imagine what you might be going through afterward. Then compare what you imagine you would go through if someone raped and killed your baby in front of you with what you're going through now. Can you see how there might be a difference?
When you're talking PTSD, you're talking that level of trauma. Rape. Children being raped. Sex-trafficking. Kidnapping. Torture (actual torture; car batteries, gang rape, parts of your body cut off or burned off, drowning, beaten, broken, frozen, boiled, flayed, starved). Sudden, violent, brutal death. Natural disaster. Domestic Violence. Child abuse and neglect. War.
***
I mentioned it above, but just want to underscore it, again. If you have one of those ^^^ in your history? You could very well have PTSD. Because anything, no matter how seemingly minor, can trigger PTSD later. But that won't be what caused the PTSD / is not the kind of trauma that can cause PTSD. Do you have Criterion A trauma in your history?
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Gs172003
Diamond Member
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can develop after a very stressful, frightening or distressing event, or after a prolonged traumatic experience. Types of events that can lead to PTSD include: serious road accidents. violent personal assaults, such as sexual assault, mugging or robbery.Sep 6, 2015
It doesn't necessarily have to be gory. But it has to be worse than a betrayal. But the betrayal can bring up a past problem.
Or per the Mayo clinic
You can develop post-traumatic stress disorder when you go through, see or learn about an event involving actual or threatened death, serious injury or sexual violation
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Gs172003
Diamond Member
This is more specific I guess. It's in the book my therapist told me to use.
PTSD DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA (The following criteria apply to adults, adolescents, and children older than 6 years.)* 7 A. Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways: 1. Directly experiencing the traumatic event( s). 2. Witnessing, in person, the event( s) as it occurred to others. 3. Learning that the traumatic event( s) occurred to a close family member or close friend. In cases of actual or threatened death of a family member of friend, the event( s) must be violent or accidental. 4. Experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic events( s) (e.g., first responders collecting human remains; police officers repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse) 8 •Note: Criterion A4 does not apply to exposure through electronic media, television, movies, or pictures, unless this exposure is work related.
It's in this book :
PTSD DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA (The following criteria apply to adults, adolescents, and children older than 6 years.)* 7 A. Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways: 1. Directly experiencing the traumatic event( s). 2. Witnessing, in person, the event( s) as it occurred to others. 3. Learning that the traumatic event( s) occurred to a close family member or close friend. In cases of actual or threatened death of a family member of friend, the event( s) must be violent or accidental. 4. Experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic events( s) (e.g., first responders collecting human remains; police officers repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse) 8 •Note: Criterion A4 does not apply to exposure through electronic media, television, movies, or pictures, unless this exposure is work related.
It's in this book :
Gs172003
Diamond Member
Does that make sense ostrak?
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