New therapist etiquette

[Angelwings]

I have a new therapist. We've only had one appointment, but she told me all about how she does therapy, the three steps to trauma work, and that she would see me, max, 2 times a week because therapy is just too much work to do every day like I was doing with my ex therapist. She also told me that it wouldn't take 27 years to get better. Now we have a second appointment and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. I've never had therapy with someone else, I don't know what's supposed to happen. Any hints? I don't know how long it's going to take me to trust her, I don't trust easily.

 

[Stephernovas]

you could show up and find out

 

[Angelwings]

LOL I suppose I could. That's pretty obvious. I should have seen that.

 

[Justmehere]

Well done on making the appointment and going! I know that took a lot of insight and courage to do. For the next appointment, I'd suggest bringing a short list of your top three goals, a list of any questions or concerns you have for her, and actually ask her about how to jump into the work. She is there to guide you and explain it to you. I personally ask my therapist for homework at the end of every session. Sometimes it's simple, sometimes it's complex, sometimes it's easy, and sometimes it's really hard - but it helps me maximize the time in sessions and make more progress.

 

[Still Standing]

Sounds like she is doing her job. She is going to help you to learn how to do some healthier walking on your own...on your own , meaning you will finally learn skills to manage more independently and improve your life without letting someone else do it for you. Your 27 years of almost constant therapy only made it so you were dependent on someone else to keep you OK. Now it is time for you to learn these skills for yourself. These you will learn with the new therapist. She is there to help you get better, not be dependent on her. The therapist you have now, is doing just what mine did at our first meeting. She laid out a general, basic game plan. Of course this is strange to you and uncertain. But, trust me, what you are now looking at is "normal" therapy. Don't be scared. It will be what you need. And you got this!

 

[Angelwings]

Well done on making the appointment and going! I know that took a lot of insight and courage to do....

Thanks @Justmehere. Progress and goals are new things for me.

Sounds like she is doing her job. She is going to help you to learn how to do some healthier wal...

@Still Standing again, you're very supportive of me. Yes it is going to be hard. I fully expect to get what I need, to make progress. I can do it. It's scary as hell, but I can do it.

Well done on making the appointment and going! I know that took a lot of insight and courage to do....

@Justmehere also, she did say she gives homework. She also gave me this long list of questions to answer and return to her on our next appointment. Most of them, I just want to say, "Nope." and move on without answering. Gah! This being brave thing is hard.

 

[Swift]

Hey.
She sounds great, intelligent and determined.
I might be way off base, but I'll say it anyway.
The best therapist in the world may not be the best therapist for you, particularly.
Asking questions is a good suggestion.
Also, only do what you think you can handle.
It's important to make sure that she's the right fit for you.

 

[Angelwings]

How long does that take?

How long does that take?

@Still Standing

 

[Still Standing]

I cannot give you a timeline as to how long this will take. What I can say is that it is not going to take 27 years, though. It will depend on your ability to progress and the depth of your trauma/s and your willingness to do the work. This is a question that would be good to ask your therapist.

 

[Freida]

Gah! This being brave thing is hard.

yes it is -- and look at you go!!!!! bravery is being afraid and doing it anyway!

How long does that take?

as long as it takes -- but it shouldn't take decades. A good T can help you set up a plan of what you want to work on and accomplish (that's the idea behind the questionnaire) and then help you get there. I tell mine I think of her as my tour guide!

 

[blackemerald1]

@Angelwings Well done! I suggest let your new T set the pace at least in the beginning bc you are not familiar with this new type of therapy.

Yes trust is a big obstacle but tell her that. It is very much about building that trust too - from both sides.
If you find yourself going off track to avoid something then tell her but once she get's to know you more probably she will see it happening.
It's a learning experience for you but I am really hoping you will be able to adapt to this T's new approach.
:hug: