New Therapist

[UnKnown-Self]

I am seeing a new therapist next week. I have decided to simply put my cards on the table, tell her what my goals are and ask straight up if she is capable of taking this route. I have PTSD and co concious selves. Those I know of are not willing to present themselves to anyone at this point and there are those who don't trust enough to present themselves even to me. I want to focus on building trust and understanding my system. Then just ask if she thinks she can help me do this. If she says yes, I want to know what the plan would be. I understand it could not be a detailed answer from her but I think her response would tell me quickly enough if I need to keep looking or not.
Has anyone ever taken this route and had positive results?

 

[Panda Bear]

I don't have the same difficulties that you do, but I have asked my T many times, straight up...
-If he is in over his head
-Does he know what he's doing
-Can he help me
-Will he stick around

 

[Sideways]

From reading your other thread recently, maybe consider being more clear/direct: what is her approach to dissociative disorders, and what process does she use to help a patient manage them?

This should give you the heads up as to whether she's in the group of doctors that 'believe' in parts or not. If that goes well, then maybe head on with your description of your co conscious parts.

Partly that strategy avoids the "tension" you can get if the doctor thinks you've already diagnosed yourself, but it also means that if she's a non-believer, you can spare yourself the distress telling her your inner-workings only to have her stick her nose up at it.

Telling a doc that "I've had ... years treatment so far, so I know I've got a dissociative issue, but I need help with it" is a positive way to basically invite her to nail down the issue with you, but in the spirit of 'lets do this together'.

You're interviewing her for a job, don't forget that;)

 

[EveHarrington]

I think that being open and honest with a therapist from the beginning is the best way to get your therapy goals met. Good luck!

 

[UnKnown-Self]

I like the interviewing approach. I do want to work as a team and be completely open and honest but it IS a relationship. I guess I am self diagnosing but I know what happens to me and if it is not other parts/selves I am experiencing then I have a much bigger problem then co conscious dissociative parts. I am not exaggerating or making up what I am experiencing.

I told myself that the first time around and refused to ponder it for over twenty years.

This time is different. The crazy part is all this came about because I was working so hard in therapy.

Keeping diaries of dreams, anger, bad thoughts, good thoughts. Practicing mindfulness as suggested. I educated myself with the reccomended reading about depression, anxiety and PTSD. I never missed a group and went to family night. I had no family going but I helped other family members understand from the perspective of one going through it and I understood their helpless frustration since my husband had been deeply depressed for 3 years before passing away. A favorite student amongst the staff. Yeppers that was me passing the program with flying colors. Told at least once a day by other patients or their family how I should be a therapist myself. HA!

I wasn't pulled in by it because I know how easily and quickly the white rabbit can appear and there I go down the old rabbit hole.

When the activity started I didn't deny it to myself, I told myself it was okay now. I could and would keep us safe. I told my therapist, wrote what I could while it was happening actually. Since I was so close to "graduation" meaning your insurance stopped covering or in my case my leave was running out, this new turn was not seen as a breakthrough and I was discouraged from mentioning it in group. No biggie, I would work on it with my new therapist who I would be seeing once a week. Especially since activity was increasing since I accepted the conversations. Talked or wrote back and bits of information was being slowly released to me.

T wanted to "meet" someone. That scared me. One I just started with her and I never even thought about having anyone speak. Though since then I have had 2 of them speak out loud but only to introduce themselves to me.

In ways they have and do talk all the time but not in an official way, like hello, I'm Alice or Peggy or Daisy or the Poet, though I knew he wouldn't.

What if that was opening another Pandora's Box? What would that lead to? Who else might speak that I haven't met yet? What if it got a ball rolling I couldn't control like everyone wanting to be called by their rightful name while I was at work?

I am in unknown territory and she only wanted a showing for confirmation because she never saw it before and according to her it is so rare.... The rest was left unsaid but I know she meant she did not believe me. NEXT!

New T agrees hitting myself in the head hard enough to give myself a whooping headache is not good and advises keeping a big bowl or pot of ice water ready so I can dunk my head when it happens. I will not traumatize the child part being hit with the fear of being drown. NEXT!

New facility, new T. They are sending me a questionnaire and other paperwork to fill out before going.
If this in not really happening and I am somehow imagining it or unconsciously (cause it sure as hell isn't on purpose) doing this to myself and there are no other parts... What the f*ck does that mean?
What kind of craziness is that?

I can't help but be reminded of when I first told about my father sexually abusing me. I was making it up and nothing but a liar, anyone who knew my father would know it was impossible. He would never do such a thing and on and on.

I tried to convince myself, perhaps I did imagine it. That would make it all so much easier. Not only for everyone else but for me too. I could take responsibility and fix my distorted crazy thinking and he could be daddy again. I could fix myself, apologize to everyone for my insanity and move forward. Living with the shame that I made it up for whatever crazy reason would be much easier to live with than the truth that it actually happened.

So here I am again and I must stand in my truth. That is the lesson and I must learn it.

 

[Sideways]

"This freaky shite going on in my head can't possibly be real, it must be something I'm making up, I must be completely crazy..."

Those are words I said to myself for ages, and once I finally came to accept that it is very real, yeah, don't really have time for T's who want to take me back to "this isn't real". That's not helpful.

Stick your ground. But remember that a new T will always want to go back one step and make sure they have arrived at their own conclusion about what's really going on. So long as she reaches a conclusion that you can make progress with, then it's on like Donkey Kong:)