New Therapist

[UnKnown-Self]

I am going to see a new therapist today. I'm feeling a little gun shy. I don't want to say too little or too much. There a things I want to focus on. Depending on the questionnaire there will be things the therapist will zero in on right away. The passing of my husband and that I was sexually molested by my father from 13 to 15. Molested doesn't seem like the right word to be honest since I was basically his wife for that time in his mind anyway and it was repeated rape and a lot of other complications.
The thing is, I was already totally f*cked up long before then. I never get a chance to process that. My brother also molested me but not full sex. My father took my virginity. I was inappropriately touched by doctors and a friend of my mothers. Still that is not what I want to focus on, not yet.
I want to focus on my mother, surprisingly something I never did other than to express anger at her and that was always glossed over by therapists like everyone is angry at mom.
So we will see ....

 

[Suzetig]

Remember it's your therapy, you don't need to share anything you don't want to - you don't even need to complete any questionnaire honestly. If there's something you particularly want to focus on, it's fine to tell her that and to not get into other stuff that she may want to explore. Therapy is the one place where it really is all about you!

 

[UnKnown-Self]

The session went well. New T believes me about the parts and has done this work before. She mentioned intergration I felt a bit of fear and uncertainty. Talked to myself driving home reassuringly that no one would be forced to do anything. It felt good to talk to myself again and not feel like I was purposely making myself crazy. Deep breath... We will see.

 

[Leigh925]

@Alice.in.Wonderland yeah I am so excited it went well for you! Don't worry about the integration thing. I use to worry about that. But I have since realized that no one can make you do anything with your parts that you don't want to. And integration can mean a lot of things to a lot of different people and it is a very slow process. I freaked when I first recognized that I had parts. But now I appreciate them and how they helped me cope. They will always be with me in one form or another which now I find quite comforting.

I'm so glad you felt validated today! That's really awesome!