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Deleted member 9232
Hello I'm a 30 year old lady who has severe and chronic PTSD. For almost 2 years after being diagnosed all I did was eat my zombie pills and work a mundane job. My life wasn't good by any means, I knew I was merely existing. Sometimes I would complain to my therapist that I just didn't feel right, like I could feel the meds repressing something.
I thought I was cured when I fell back in love with my boyfriend that I had before I went to Baghdad. I stopped taking all the meds and was fine for 3 months. I decided to try to go to culinary school, BAD MISTAKE...all of my PTSD symptoms hit me full force. My biggest fear was that people would just assume I was stupid/wierd/crazy and leave it at that because that how I felt. To make a long story short I bolted out of there when I felt like launching a 9 inch chef's knife across the room.
Now here I am getting better therapy and meds. I'm doing my best to work through all of these horrible feelings PTSD brings. Most of the time it leaves me with the feeling of a deep sad anger. I don't have an understanding companion. He was in combat and has combat related PTSD...I have PTSD from childhood, early adulthood, and combat...not brain dead yet. His logic is that I didn't go through enough in combat because I'm a woman. I could rant about that for days so I'll end it now. I'm hoping to talk to a few people and see how they cope. As of now I feel like a martian amongst others:alien:..I know I'm not that far gone yet....
I thought I was cured when I fell back in love with my boyfriend that I had before I went to Baghdad. I stopped taking all the meds and was fine for 3 months. I decided to try to go to culinary school, BAD MISTAKE...all of my PTSD symptoms hit me full force. My biggest fear was that people would just assume I was stupid/wierd/crazy and leave it at that because that how I felt. To make a long story short I bolted out of there when I felt like launching a 9 inch chef's knife across the room.
Now here I am getting better therapy and meds. I'm doing my best to work through all of these horrible feelings PTSD brings. Most of the time it leaves me with the feeling of a deep sad anger. I don't have an understanding companion. He was in combat and has combat related PTSD...I have PTSD from childhood, early adulthood, and combat...not brain dead yet. His logic is that I didn't go through enough in combat because I'm a woman. I could rant about that for days so I'll end it now. I'm hoping to talk to a few people and see how they cope. As of now I feel like a martian amongst others:alien:..I know I'm not that far gone yet....
